Noticed
by iamcrafty
Summary: Jared is easily jealous and Kim may have to move to Seattle. Turns out they're suited quite well for each other.
1. Chapter 1

Kim Loves Jared, Jared Meets Kim

I leaned on my elbow with my head in my hand pretending to take notes while my eyes rolled up to stare at him. I sat beside the most delicious looking guy that could have been placed on this green Earth. I was good to karma in my past, and she was rewarding me with a seat next to my 3-year crush, Jared. He hadn't talked to me yet, I was pretty sure he didn't know my name, but this year would be my year. Though I might be moving too slowly, seeing how the school year was almost over.

_Dddoooooooooooooooooooooo._

And my ecstasy with Jared ended. I picked up my books slowly, just in case he decided to say something to me, but he never did. I paced myself as I walked to my locker to put my books away and to grab my lunch.

"Kim!" I look up from my locker to see Amber running up to me.

"How was Algebra?" she asked. I knew she didn't care, but whatever.

"Same old song. And PE?" I answered.

"It was fine. Basketball," she said smugly. "Paul's back, so that ruined it." I knew Amber was bummed when she had to pull out of the girls basketball team because her family couldn't afford to pay the dues to join. And though she was usually shy around guys, she found her outlet playing with and against them in basketball. The other girls played their own games. "Never seen him so mad though. I mean, he's usually grumpy, but today, he looked like he was going to tear something apart."

"Maybe he didn't quite recover from his deal with 'mona' a few weeks ago." Amber and I made up some theories to joke about that his prolonged absence from school that involved rabid dogs and the witness protection program. Whatever happened, he came back taller and older. I laughed at her satisfaction and walked with her to our tree.

It was only the two of us now. We used to have a nice healthy group of friends in middle school, but high school ripped us apart into different classes and schedules so that everyone ended up meeting new friends and forming new groups. I guessed that was just how it was. We still saw some of our other friends and chatted, but it was never the same.

"So how is Jared?" Amber asked liked a third grader. But I amused her.

"Perfect as ever." She was the only one who knew of my crush on Jared since the beginning of high school.

"He turn his head around today?"

"No," I said. She shrugged.

"Maybe tomorrow." There had been a lot of tomorrows from where I stood.

"So you going to see Abel today?" Amber asked me after swallowing the last of her cafeteria's version of a burrito.

"Yeah. I gotta leave like right when school ends, so I can't meet you after school."

"It's fine. I wanted to use the computers for a bit before going home anyway."

_Ddddddoooooooooooooooooooooo_. We separated and I drudged back to my lockers to finish off the rest of the day.

I stepped into my house to the smell of chicken cacciatore. My older sister had dreams of becoming a chef, but she wasn't able to chase her dreams on account of me.

"Hey Jasmine!" I hollered.

"Oh, Kim, perfect timing. I just got this out of the oven."

"It smells divine," I said heading to the kitchen to wash my hands.

"I'm glad you think so." We took our seats at the table and I took a bite out of my chicken. Jasmine looked at me before touching her food like she had something to tell me.

"Kim," she said hesitating before going on, "I wanted to go to an interview at a restaurant in Seattle." I stopped before taking another forkful of food in my mouth. The first thought in my head was "but what about Jared?" Yes, that was the thing to think about. To spend my days being unseen by Jared.

"That's great," I said trying to sound supportive.

"It's not a 5-star or anything, but it's more than the job I have now and it's a foot in the door. And I'll be able to pay for you to go to college." I put my hand up to stop her from talking.

"Jasmine, I think we'll do all right in Seattle. It is a great opportunity."

"Thanks," she said. "I mean, it's a long shot anyway; I haven't even applied."

"It'll work out, Jaz." We ate the rest of our meal, chatting about our days. Meanwhile, I tried not to think about the person I would leave behind, who never knew who I was.

After dinner, I went to my room to ugly down. The thing I hated about being around people was how long it took to look presentable. I always took as little time as possible to get ready, especially in the morning. Maybe if there as even a smidgen of hope that'd _he'd_ turn around to notice me, I'd put in more effort, but I accepted long ago that it wasn't going to happen. So as it were, I always changed into my comfy clothes at home which consisted of pink bloomers pajama shorts and an old holey wife beater. I put my shoulder-length hair up in a bun and used a big but light hair clip to keep my bangs out of my face. I finished my homework and checked my email for a bit, turning on some music. Then wound down with an entry in my diary.

_Dear Diary,_

_I think I need to come up with a plan to win Jared. The getting-over-him plan didn't work, and neither did the move-onto-someone else plan. Plan C isn't at all better, but I haven't tried it, so I'll judge it later. I haven't heard of a girl with him lately, so I'm crossing my fingers that I will be next. Think positive, Kim!_

_Love,_

_The Future Mrs. Jared._

Finally bedtime rolled around and I lay in bed daydreaming about being with Jared. I imagined him leaving me notes and stealing looks, which moved on to talking to me in class and then hanging out with me at lunch. I dreamt of our first kiss and places he'd take me to on a date. Sigh. But then things seemed to go wrong. I always saw girls flirting with him in the hallway and in class; he always smiled at the really popular girls. I heard he went out with a lot of girls, not even settling enough to have a steady girlfriend. I even heard girls talking in the locker rooms of their dates with him, and they always seemed to end up in bed. I cried when I heard those stories. It seemed so ludicrous that he'd notice me, and in the end, I realized I couldn't even get Jared in my dreams. So supremely frustrated, I just fell asleep.

I looked at Jared a little differently for the next few days after my talk with my sister. He was still as beautiful as ever, and possibility even bigger, but it was like looking at him for the last time. I wanted to memorize him. Maybe I should try to take a picture. Seriously Kim, get a grip. You need to get over it. But I dont want to. You realize that you're talking to yourself now, right? This is a new area of crazy for you. Sigh.

I walked into Algebra II one day, as always, eager to see my dream man. But today he didn't come. Great, algebra and no Jared. Not that I didn't like math though our teacher sure liked to stab happiness in the heart. I loved math actually, but Jared made it that much better. So I stared out the window, wondering what could be holding my Jared back from coming to school.

"So how long has he been gone?" Amber asked taking a sip from her orange juice.

"I don't know," I replied.

"Yes you do."

"Fine! 11 days. He has been gone 11 days. And that's not even including weekends!" I said lying down on the grass.

"Lunch is almost over, girl. You should eat your... what is this?"

"I think it's a combination of fish and soy that are trying to look like chicken?" I responded getting up and grabbing my Styrofoam tray of crap. If I wasn't so hungry, I wouldn't have even tried. "I paid a whole $5 for this ... thing," I said taking a bite. It tasted better than it looked though so I ended up eating the whole thing.

Which I severely was paying for that night and the next day. I got up in the middle of the night and threw everything up, digested or not. My stomach hated me.

"Are you sure you don't need to me stay home?" Jasmine quickly asked, checking up on me before work a few hours later. That's right, my body found new food to throw up.

"Not unless you want to hold my hair back," I said sickly. She made a face.

"I'm good," she said decidedly. I gave her a laugh. "Call me at the restaurant if you need me." I heard the door close and her car turn on before I ran to the bathroom.

_Dear Diary,_

_I have decided to make my own lunches from now on. School food is evil. Now I just need someone to teach me how to make a sandwich. Please root for me!_

_Love,_

_Mrs. Jared._

The natural detox apparently made me miss a project assignment last Friday, so I wasn't looking forward to whoever I got stuck with who was most like going to make me fly solo. I started drawing on my notes of hearts and ballet pointe shoes, thinking how things would be different in Seattle.

Jared

I hated math, especially algebra. Maybe I could do with pictures and shapes like in geometry, but show me numbers and letters and I'll show you a finger. But I hated being stuck at home all day just hoping that I wouldn't combust into a really big dog. I finally managed to convince Sam that I was all right to go back to whatever, and he only agreed to that if Paul kept tabs on me. That was one thing that really bugged me about all this. I didn't like having to answer to anyone.

"I'll give you some time right now to work on your projects with your partner. Kim and Jared, since you were both absent the day we picked partners, I'm assigning you guys to work together."

I ducked my head. We have a math project? What kind of project can you do in math? I gave a sigh to figure out who the hell Kim was who, judging by where the teacher was looking, sat really close to me. I turned my head at the girl sitting beside me. She looked like she had just turned away to stare out the window.

I had probably seen this girl before; she was plain enough for me to forget. For some reason, I felt really bad about that. And I was staring, involuntarily. Try as I might, I found my body not turning away. I didn't try; I didn't want to. I didn't usually think twice, or even once, about girls like her. I usually noticed really glamorous girls, the kind with body parts hanging out and makeup all over the place. Seeing her made me feel like a dog, and I wanted to be better to deserve her.

"You have until the end of class so I suggest you use your time wisely." Kim turned her head, and I saw her face for the first time, studying her. She had a really clear complexion, a refreshingly pretty face without any makeup. I realized how.. clean she looked. She seemed shy, and I could even hear her heart beating ultra fast, but her face was totally calm. Did she like me?

"Hi, I'm Kim," she said. Was this really the first time we were meeting? I've sat in this desk for how long and never met her? I felt like I knew her, or should have known her my whole life. I heard her heartbeat get faster. And I still wasn't talking. Why wasn't I saying anything?

"Uh, yeah. So what's this project about?" Those were my first words? I wanted to know everything about this creature from her last name to what brand of cotton swabs she used, and I start asking about the project? I gave myself a mental punch in the face. Kim looked at the handout that Mathman gave out.

"I guess we have to teach a lesson for 10 minutes of an algebra concept we previously covered." Her voice was shaky, barely noticeable, but I heard it. She had a... sweet voice. I tried to remember what we went over this past year. "I was thinking we could do logs. I think we can do a lot with the different bases to take up the time and the visual should be pretty easy to do." I thought I was listening, but when she stopped talking, I had no idea what she said. I guessed my face gave that away. She looked all scared and bit her lip. Damn, she had beautiful lips. "I'll just come up with something," she said after my inadequate reaction. So, she thought of me as dead weight. Maybe she didn't like me after all. I wondered how many others had taken advantage of her like that.

"No, no," I finally got out. "Sorry you got stuck with me. I'm no good with a lot of this math, but I'll do what I can." She seemed surprised and nodded. She smiled and I felt like it was the first time seeing a woman smile, like all other women were doing it wrong.

"So should we meet up since it looks like we missed the weekend," I suggested.

"Yeah, we probably should. You can come to my place. It's usually pretty empty."

"How's tonight?" She just nodded, but I heard her heart go so fast I thought it was unhealthy.

_Ddddddddooooooooooooooooooooo. _It doesn't even sound like a bell. I turned to offer Kim to walk her to her next class and to find out where she lived, but she had already scurried out when I wasn't looking. Wow, what just happened?


	2. Kim's Lover

**Hey guys! Thanks so much for your comments! Goldenangel121 told me I messed up on Kim's name.. I kept calling her Amber. What a loser.. who calls their main character the wrong name? Anyway.. problem is hopefully fixed. Here is chapter two!**

**I should probably also tell you. I am trying to write a story that deals with some teenage issues like body image, peer pressure, etc. Not going to super serious, but hopefully I can break some teenage lines.**

Kim's Lover

Kim

I was almost skipping down the hall to my locker, replaying everything in my head. I practically peed in my pants when I heard "Kim and Jared" in the same sentence. I glanced over at Jared, who had ducked his head down, which gave me the impression that he wasn't very happy about the set up. I looked out the window and gave myself a pep talk, trying to convince myself to just take it how it was and that he most likely wasn't going to fall in love with me after this project. I remembered giving him my ideas and he stared at me like I grew a third eye, which really bummed me out, because I knew I'd do everything for the project like a loser, especially if it was Jared I was doing it for. Just as I was entertaining thoughts about a blow dryer in the bathtub, HE made it clear that he was going to help AND HE suggested we work on it TONIGHT. I was going to see him tonight in MY house. I could be singing with the choirs at that moment. And then it dawned on me. I didn't tell him where I lived. Or what time we were going to meet up. Craaapp. I slowed down. I knew he'd be gone. I guessed I'd just have to wait until tomorrow.

Jared

I couldn't get her out of my head. I was walking to the cafeteria alone. I didn't feel like hanging out with my old friends. Things seemed different with them. I knew they had all kinds of questions for me, but I barely knew the answers myself. They'd never understand, and I'd never be able to fit in with them anymore anyway. I felt bad, but they'd get over it. I got in line just as smelled Paul behind me.

"'Sup Dog," he said cleverly.

"Hey," I answered.

"You all right, man?" You look long." I thought for a hair of a second whether or not I should tell Paul about Kim, but I decided that that was a very bad idea. He'll probably see it anyway later.

My next class was English. I especially hated this class now because the desks were so damn small. I could barely fit in them before I grew, and now it was damn near impossible. There wasn't anything I could do though, so I pulled some kind of stunt to get myself into that desk, probably bending the bars. Beside me, I saw Mackenzie eyeing me, which was obvious even without my newly keen eyes. Now she was a girl I would've gone for. Her clothes were always tight on her Coke bottle figure. But today, she looked all wrong to me. Her body looked too thin, almost gangly, and her clothes made her seem easy. Her makeup was done well, but it made her look sick and trashy, and her perfume reeked of old lady. I suddenly wanted to get out of this ridiculously small desk. I wanted to see Kim again.

I waited till about half an hour into class after Miss English's lecture to ask to go to the bathroom. I towered over that small woman's height and I could hear her heart getting faster, I'd like to think from fear. I gave myself a smirk and took the hall pass and headed off in the opposite direction of the bathroom. At first I just wandered. Whoever designed this school must've grown up somewhere sunny. It was just not logical to have an outdoor school in Washington. The classes were in separated buildings, but to get from class to class, you were outside, which wasn't so bad today since it was just a bit overcast. I turned a corner towards the PE buildings and almost turned again before I saw her.

So she dances. She was outside, looking like she was practicing some routine with a group of 4 other girls. She was pretty good, but I doubted hip hop was her thing. She seemed very hesitant about the moves, but her body moved nicely. I stared at her, wondering how I ever thought she was plain. She had changed out of her olive green wifebeater and jeans into a long white t-shirt and really tight short black shorts and still wearing a black cord for a necklace. Her body was a bit thick, but I could tell she was fit. And her legs could kill a man if he dared look. (And he better not dare look.) But the dance didn't suit her, like she was too good for it. There was another girl who was taking the lead with the routine, Natasha; I had gone out with her before, but I couldn't remember how it ended. I saw Kim try to speak up about something, but Natasha gave her a look that made me want to shake her, and Kim didn't say anything after that.

"Ahem." I turned around to face a nark was standing right behind with her arms folded across her chest. I waved my hall pass in front of her and then made my way back to class. Miss English gave me a look like I better not plan to be out of class like this often.

"Bad burrito," I muttered when I walked past her and took a sigh before squeezing myself into the child's desk.

My leg was shaking, the kind that pisses off the people sitting next to you. I was staring at the clock during my last class for the bell to ring. Paul was in this class with me. I bet it looked real weird for people to see two huge 25-year-old looking 17-year olds sitting beside each other in the front row, one staring with his arms cross at a clock, the other sprawled out on his desk with his head hanging off it like he's been shot and left for dead, neither paying attention to the causes of World War II. I was getting a kick watching our teachers get more and more scared of us.

_Dddddddoooooooooooooo_. I nearly ran out of my seat before Paul even lifted his head. I didn't even run to my locker. I never read any of the books or really studied, so there wasn't any point. I probably should have the math textbook though. I'd get it later. I wanted to find Kim. I anxiously ran around, trying to find her locker, but the lockers were spread out throughout the school. So I thought I'd try to find her car. I walked past the cars, hoping her window might be open so I could get a whiff of her scent. It was a long shot, but I really wanted to see her tonight. And then I caught it. It was so clean and refreshing. I tried to follow it, which was hard considering how many people were in the parking lots by now, but I wasn't nearing any cars. I stopped to stare at the source of the smell and cocked my head. If it was anyone else, I would've laughed, but I thought it was kinda sweet. It was one of those old-fashioned bikes, the kind from like the Sound of Music with a wooden basket attached to the front. I heard two footsteps step just outside my peripheral and looked up to see the face that I had waited all day to see. Her face was in shock, probably wondering how I found her bike.

"Nice ride," I said. She was still gaping, so I figured I'd toss her a bone. "I've seen you ride it to school a few times." Not at all true. She flushed and looked all embarrassed. "So we never talked about when and where we were going to meet up." She finally straightened up.

"Oh, um," she said not looking at me, "I guess, do you want to eat and then come or come before dinner? We probably won't need a whole lot of time since we're just starting." Later tonight, but I wanted to be with her now.

"What about now?" I suggested. She bit her lip and looked at her bike. Obviously she was going to get home sometime later tonight at the speed of this thing. Damn, why didn't I have a truck? I only had my beat up hatchback which would never fit a bike. "How long does it take you to get home?"

"About 45 minutes." No wonder this girl had great legs.

"Uh, why don't I take you home?" She looked pretty excited when I suggested that, but then thought otherwise.

"I need to get to school tomorrow too, you know."

"I'll pick you up." Her heartbeat picked up, and she seemed to consider it.

"No, it's fine," she said waving her hand. "Then I'll just meet you in like 45 minutes, ok?" She started to unlock her bike.

"It's not a problem, you know. I promise I won't make you late tomorrow." She just smiled her perfect smile at me.

"Do you have a pen?" I swung my bag off my shoulder to take out a pen to give to her. "For you. I need to tell you how to get to my place." She pulled her bike out and wheeled it around. I all of sudden felt very protective of her. I didn't want her to fall or her clothes to get dirty. What if a car hit her or someone mugged her? I wanted to follow her to keep that from happening. Then I got an idea.

"Don't worry about it, I'll find my way there." She gave me a confused look and I winked at her before turning around and running to my car.

My eyes never left her, even in the traffic of the cars getting out of the parking lot. The road was straight, so if I saw which direction she went, I knew I'd find her. F'ing cars took their sweet time getting out, but I managed to not throttle anyone before my turn came up and I hit the gas full on to find my girl. Sure enough, I saw her peddling up the road. I reached over to roll the passenger window down and slowed when I caught up with her.

"Hey there," I called. She did a double take when she saw me and I was almost worried she wouldn't look back at the road.

"Wh- What are you doing?" she yelled, though I would've been able to hear her fine.

"You didn't tell me how to get to your house."

"That's because you said you'd find a way!"

"And this is how I found a way." She was staring ahead, biting her lip to keep from smiling. I was starting to like the effect I had on this girl. "So how was your day?" I yelled. She laughed, which sounded musical.

"It was long."

"Really? So was mine." Again silence. "So you have a boyfriend who takes you to school when it's raining?" She laughed again.

"Maybe." Maybe. I laughed it off, but I was stunned. I didn't even consider that another guy might feel the same for this lovely creature as I did. I felt jealous and even a little angry. She seemed to notice the silence.

"How about you?" she hollered back. Well two could play.

"Maybe." She kept up a smile, but I could see it wavering. She looked back to the road.

"So are you planning to follow me the whole way home?" she asked.

"I can't get to your place otherwise." The road to her place was pretty empty and cars passed me across the broken lines while I trudged along at speeds of up to 10 mph. We didn't talk for a bit. I studied her. She wore a helmet, fingerless gloves, and even used hand signals when she turned. I watched her legs as she rode and even her toned arms flexing. She was sweating and panting, but not tired. She was beautiful and I wanted her, not just as a girlfriend. I didn't even consider her the way I would have with other girls. I didn't want to just bang her, or hang her on my arm like a trophy. I didn't just want her to be with me. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to be her everything.

"My house is the second from the corner," I heard her say. I wondered if she noticed me staring at her. I pulled up into her driveway and she opened her garage to park her bike. She led me into her house, which was very cozy. "Just uh, let me go change." Even though I wanted this girl in the purest way possible for me to think, I couldn't help being turned on at the mention of her changing. I hit my head a few times to knock out that thought. This girl was different, and I was going to treat her with respect.

A few minutes later, she was dressed in shorts and a black tank top, looking like she didn't just finish a 45-minute bike ride, which didn't help my earlier reaction. How did I never notice her before?

"Do you want anything to drink?" she asked heading for the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of water.

"No, I'm good." She downed a glass and then headed back to me.

"So, I guess we should get started." She went to her bag and pulled out her textbook. Damn, I forgot to get mine.

"So where is everybody?" I asked, pointing around her vacant house.

"My sister's still at work. She does the breakfast and lunch shifts on the weekdays."

"And your parents?" She paused a bit before getting out the rest of her books, but didn't answer, so I figured I shouldn't press the subject.

"Here's the chapter on logs," she said, handing me the textbook. Ah yes, logs. This seemed familiar. She asked me a lot of questions of how we should set up our presentation, not really taking the lead, but taking the lead at the same time. I hoped that my input was good enough to get her a good grade on the project; I was just hoping to pass the class. She had to tutor me a lot too, since I let things slip out of my head far too easily. She was a much better teacher than Mathman. After about an hour and a half, she seemed satisfied with what we accomplished.

"So I guess we'll just have to meet up one more time to make our visual and then put together our individual stuff," she said after taking some more notes. "I'm going to grab a snack, you like cookies?" she asked getting up.

"Yeah, cookies sound great." She left the room, so I tried to finish up to make myself at least a little useful. I heard her phone vibrating on the coffee table beside me. I glanced up at her phone. It was an iPhone, so the text message just appears without touching it. I was curious who would text her, so without thinking, I glanced up at her phone. I shouldn't have looked, and I looked away when I realized what I was doing, but for someone with wolf eyes, I saw the message enough to keep reading.

_Kim, I love you. I want you to be my girlfriend._

**I thought the bike ride was kinda funny.. and I was taking a few dance classes when I wrote this story, so that's why she's a dancer. I find that I like to put a little dancing in all of my stories. Keke… is it okay?**


	3. Your Hands are Cold

**Hey! Here's the next chapter!**

Your Hands are Cold

Jared

I was undeniably shaking when I saw the text. I had to get out of there, or Kim would see a giant wolf in her living room. I didn't take my bag or even bother with my car. I bolted out of that house as fast as I could, which is very fast, and covered myself in trees, taking off my clothes, seeing how I would need them to get my car back. I sprinted forward and felt the unwanted burn spread down my spine. I was a wolf now. I stopped running and just howled to let go my anger.

_Jared, everything all right?_ I heard Sam ask. Even though I didn't like having a boss, he wasn't too bad. It helped to have someone go through all of this with you who'd already been there and done that.

_I don't know_, I grunted angrily.

_What happened?_ I couldn't form coherent words to explain what happened, so I just replayed everything that made me mad. I felt Sam's thoughts as he absorbed mine. He didn't seem surprised or even worried. I thought I even felt a hint of happiness. Sam started remembering, comparing, his first meeting with Emily and how he felt when he first saw her. The feeling was very familiar.

_So what is that?_ I asked.

_Imprinting. You imprinted, Jared._ Sam seemed a little happy for me, but I was totally confused.

_I imprinted._ I knew about Sam and Emily's imprinting, but that was supposed to be a rare thing, wasn't it? _So what does that mean?_ I asked.

_She's your soul mate, _Sam said like it was obvious, which it was.

_Well is she now_. That made things easier for me to deal with. Whatever cards I was dealt, I would end up with Kim in the end. And I was already sure she liked me too, so why not make things happen now?

_Jared, you're still young, take things slow._ I was old enough to become a giant human and a bigger wolf. _If you scare her off, she won't come back. _I guessed that was true, so I agreed to take things how they may. I felt calmer, and even more excited to see Kim now that I understood what had happened to me so I started back to her place.

_Sorry, Kim's boyfriend. She wasn't made to be with you. I'm the one she'll choose._

Kim

I must've been gone a whole two minutes to get my sister's homemade cookies. When I came back, he had vanished. His stuff was still here and his car was outside, but Jared the Man was nowhere to be found. Great, and I scared him off. I plopped myself on the couch and took a bite of a luxurious chocolate chip cookie. The whole day seemed so surreal that I wouldn't have believed it really happened if his car wasn't outside my house. I just came out of school and there he was waiting at my bike. He could've gone with his friends while he waited for me to get home, but he followed me the whole way in his car at a snail's pace. Why? Why would he do that? He even offered to take me home and pick me up to get to school. I just about hit the floor with that one, but I managed to keep my head on. I was so in love with him, it was pathetic and in the end, I knew he would end up tossing me. I'd get as close to him as I could, but I had to keep a safe distance too.

Yes, distance is exactly what I had in common with him right now considering he wasn't here. Where did he go? All of a sudden, I heard a knock on the door.

"Hey, sorry, I ran out like that without telling you," he said when I opened the door for him. "A friend of mine got into an accident not far from here and made it sound like he got hurt."

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, he's just dramatic." I could feel my heart racing. Jared was walking back into my house. We resumed our project and somehow all the cookies disappeared. Did I eat them all? After about another half hour, he looked up at the clock.

"All right, I gotta head back," he said. I was sad. I wanted him to stay here... forever. "So when should we meet up again?"

"Well, the project is due Monday, and we'll need some time to work on our own stuff before putting it together. How does Saturday sound?"

"Saturday," he said. O crap. Saturday was date night; of course he wouldn't be available. Never-been-on-a-date Kim would never think of that. "Sounds perfect." I breathed a sigh of relief. He got his stuff together and I tried to discreetly watch him pull away from my driveway before I ran to my phone to call Amber.

_Dear Diary,_

_Plan C seems to be working out. I didn't even know what plan C was. He looks even better up close. He'd look better without his shirt on._

_Love,_

_The Girl in Love with Jared_

I woke up the next morning to the sound of pouring rain and thunder and moaned. I wasn't averse to rain, but it did make biking impossible. I'd have to get ready even faster than usual to walk. I didn't want to wake up Jasmine; she had a long day ahead of her at work. I did my deeds and ran out of the house with my backpack, iPhone (to use as an iPod) and a granola bar, covered in a bright yellow raincoat, blue galoshes and a gigantic umbrella, the kind 6 people could comfortably share while enjoying a stroll. It was windy, but not too bad, though my face was getting soaked. I thought a lot about the night before, even entertained ideas that he might like me too. What a girly thing to think, that a guy who gives you attention means he likes you. No. I was painfully realistic, and that's what I needed to be when it came to Jared. Hot, beautiful Jared. I smiled when I thought about him following me down the street and smiling and laughing with me in my living room. I started to hear rhythm in the rain and my feet started to dance. Before I knew it, I was barely using the umbrella to cover me as much as a prop to Singing in the Rain.

Jared

School started at 8:45, and I woke up at 8:40. I jumped out of bed on autopilot and barely spent a minute to shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed. I didn't even notice the rain until I heard the thunder. I looked out the window; it was pouring. Kim would be riding her bike in this. I grabbed my keys and ran out the door, kicking myself. I should've checked the weather or something. It was too late. She would probably already be at school, knowing how good of a student she was. I raced down the slippery road, as fast as my car would allow. I didn't worry about getting into an accident, especially if I could walk away from it unscathed. Plus I could hear anything around me, so if a car did come, I had enough sense to slow down. But as it were, I was probably most definitely late, so the roads were smooth sailing for me. I pulled in to the parking lot and hoped the narks wouldn't be out, since I now had a better way to spend my time than detention.

I had never been so eager for algebra before. I walked real fast to class, and wasn't surprised to see Kim there, and she was staring at the door. I saw her looking me and gave her a goofy smile. How does she do that to me? She dropped her eyes, probably so I wouldn't think she was staring, but I never looked away from her. Her clothes were wet, her raincoat slung over the back of her chair. She was warming her hands with her breath and rubbing them together.

"Did you bike to school?" I asked putting my stuff down beside the desk. I didn't like the idea of her riding around all wet and cold. She shook her head, and I felt a little relief.

"I walked." My face dropped. Walked? That's worse!

"You walked to school?"

"I can't bike in the rain. My tires get kinda slippery, especially up the hills, and the wind sometimes knocks me over." I didn't like her walking in the rain.

"How long does it take you to walk?"

"A little less than an hour and a half, longer in the rain." I was beating myself over this. I should've been there to bring her to school. I saw her try to warm her hands again, so I took them and folded my hands over them. I could've sworn I stopped hearing her heart.

"Better?" I asked. She just nodded and tried to pull away, but I barely noticed, so I kept holding them and kneaded them in my own hands. Her hands were so small and perfect in mine. I looked at our hands for a bit before looking up at her. Her skin was only a few shades lighter than me. "Please let me drive you home today." She barely moved her head, but it was a yes. Mathman started writing stuff on the board, and I figured Kim would want to copy it, so I gave Kim a wink and turned to the front, still feeling her cold little hands in mine.

Kim

I could barely concentrate in Algebra. Jared held my hands. My hands must've been colder than I thought; his hands felt like they were going to cook me, but I wouldn't have pulled away if he were going to chop them off. But my hands were warm now. I got cold way too easily. I always wore layers upon layers during cold weather and even during sunny days if there was a cool breeze. I was looking even more homely than usual with my sister's old sweatshirt and a pair of sweats (because I hate the feeling of wet jeans). But Jared still came to talk with me and hold my hand. I had heard the whispering when we talked. I knew rumors were going to start popping up, and I felt really bad for him to be associated like that to me. It was his fault anyway; I didn't ask him to pay attention to me. But he was, and I was loving it.

After class, he walked with me to my locker asking me random questions about this and that and then left, probably to hang out with his crowd. I quickly put my books away and got my lunch out before running to find Amber.

"How random!" she said after I told her everything. "Not that you're... but it is..." It was still raining, so we hung out on a bench under a shade by one of the buildings while most everyone else went to the gymnasium or library.

"Isn't it?" I said, knowing and agreeing with her thoughts.

"He held your hand and everything, in front of everyone."

"Yup."

"And he's going to drive you home."

"It is weird, isn't it?" I asked. She nodded, still very confused, but obviously happy for me.

"But be careful Kim. You're not his kind of girl, you know?" I knew what she was talking about. Jared usually dated plastic push-upped people. "I think they're starting a club. Pretty much every hot girl in the school _knows_ Jared."

"Would it be so bad?" I asked shyly. She looked at me shocked. "I'm not saying it's gonna happen, and it won't. But I mean, if it was different, is there anything wrong with that? He doesn't seem like a player, you know. It doesn't seem like he'd go tricking girls into bed with him. He probably genuinely really liked them, before realizing that he didn't." Amber graciously let my stupidity slide and looked at me seriously.

"Kim, I really think you'd regret it, and you're too good to be hurt by Jared." I knew she meant well, but Jared was starting to pay me attention, and I wasn't going to lose it.

_Dear Diary,_

_Plan C is awesome, whatever it was. Jared is getting sweeter and sweeter. I should be worried shouldn't I? Then I will tomorrow, but today, I'm very happy._

_Love,_

_Jared Lover_

**Comments, anyone?**


	4. He's not yours, She's not mine

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for your wonderful reviews! You guys sincerely say the most wonderful things! Here is the next chapter. I'll admit, I like this one a lot. "D**

He's not yours, She's not mine

Jared

"This girl has got you bad," Paul said when he came up for air after scarfing his lunch down. I got defensive.

"She's just a girl," I said.

"Right. Then I guess you won't mind if I talk to her. I bet I could show her a few dance moves myself." I didn't even realize I was angry, until I punched him in the face. He gave me a look like he was ready to take me on, so I backed off him and started eating again. "Why the hell are you having lunch with me then, Jared?" I would've thought you'd be trying to hang out with at lunch and whenever."

"It's only been a day," I said calmly. "I haven't even figured out what this is, and I'm not gonna string her along while I figure it out." Paul chuckled.

"Yeah, this girl's got you bad."

Kim

I walked into the change rooms before dance class to change and groaned at the memory of yesterday's practice. Natasha completely took over, and choreographed this dirt-awful dance routine that had us do nothing but throw our butts around and spread our legs so much it was more a stripper dance than hip hop. Which was funny because we were supposed to come up with a jazz routine. I threw on a tank top and pulled over an open-weave sweater with a wide neckline over it before changing into my shorts.

"So you think Jared and you are a thing," I heard Natasha's annoying candy apple voice behind me.

"No, we're..." I had no idea what we were, "partners for an algebra project." That semed accurate.

"I heard you got all starry-eyed when Jared touched your hand," she said like I was a love-struck baby. It might've been true, and denying it wouldn't have helped me anyway. So I just shrugged and tried to walk past her tall thin figure. She stopped me of course. "Not that I consider you anything of competition, but I don't like my things being touched."

"Well, clearly you don't see me as competition," I retorted before walking past her into the rain to get to the dance studio. I was getting scared. Natasha wasn't the sort of girl you messed with.

The whole class was spent watching everyone perform their jazz routines. Of course, we failed that assignment, which didn't surprise me and made me respect our teacher a little more. I did try to tell the ever perfect Natasha.

It was still raining when school ended though the thunders subsided. I didn't know where to meet Jared, so I just went back to the bike racks where I met him the day before. We really needed to communicate better about meeting. I waited under my umbrella in the rain for my prince to come.

"Hey Paddington Bear," he greet me, lifting my umbrella to fit himself under it. He took it from my hand and even pulled my backpack off my shoulders. Did guys really know to do that? He opened my side of the door first and after I'd hopped in, he went around to his door. I took a deep breath in his car. He smelled wonderful. Not like the other boys who wore cologne to seem older or whatever. This guy was what all men should strive to be like.

"How was class?" he asked me, which reminded me about Natasha.

"Dance was a disaster. We were supposed to do a jazz routine, but Natasha came up with something else." He seemed amused. "I think she likes you." His smile didn't fade.

"Well.... that's just too bad." I didn't press him, but I was pretty sure I missed something there. "How are your hands?" I felt my hands, which were a bit cold from holding the umbrella.

"They're better, thanks." He reached over anyway and wrapped both of my hands in his gigantic manly right hand. I stopped breathing.

"Why are your hands always cold?" he asked as if him holding my hands was the most normal thing in the world.

"I get cold really easily. Especially my hands and feet." He laughed. "You're really warm," I said. His smile disappeared and he retracted his hands, leaving mine as cold as ever. I winced. What did I say? The rest of the ride was a bit awkward, so I just stared out the window, not daring to look over at Jared. We finally reached my house and he pulled my bag from the backseat. "Thanks for the ride home."

"Anytime." I opened the door to get out. "Actually," I paused before totally getting out. "If it rains, I'll come get you. Don't walk."

"I'm fine. I don't mind walking," I protested.

"I'd.... I'd really like to pick you up, if that's okay." I just nodded and closed the door. He offered to take me to school when it rains? I was getting suspicious, but really excited at the same time. There was no way Jared liked _me_, so why was he acting so nice all of a sudden? Did I become beautiful? Was this a charity thing? When I got to my room, I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked the same since the fifth grade, so it can't be the beautiful thing. I wasn't ugly; even ugly people were noticed. I was as plain as Jane could get. To be honest, I liked the way I looked. All my features were proportional and clear. I always felt like makeup was for ugly people, plus it took too much time in the morning to deal with when all I wanted to do was sleep. Not getting the answers I wanted from looking at the mirror, I took out my homework.

Jared

The rest of the week seemed to fly by. Talking to Kim only made me want to talk to her more and find out more about her. I mostly hung out with Sam and Paul when I wasn't home. My parents kept bugging me about them, but I just ignored them. At night, I would remember an important assignment that would help me somehow graduate school and work on it. It was Thursday, and I was wondering what Kim was doing. I didn't have her phone number yet. Maybe I should move to that kind of relationship. The kind where we could talk on the phone. That'd be cool.

I decided to take a walk on the beach. It was sunny and warm, so i could get away with not wearing shirt and shoes. I stood with my hands in my pockets, watching the people around in the beach. Then I noticed a very familiar figure.

I couldn't believe that she was here at the beach. It was the first time I had seen her completely outside of school context. She was staring at the ocean with her arms folded, the wind blowing her hair and dress around. I started to walk towards her, planning to startle her to see her smile. I wasn't more than 100 ft away when I saw a big, tall guy running out of the water to her. She took the towel off of her shoulders and wrapped it around him and drying his hair. He leaned into her, their faces so close to each other. Kim was smiling at him and he rubbed his nose to hers. I stopped dead in my tracks and b; I didn't care if anyone slowly backed up before breaking out into a full out run. I didn't care who noticed how fast I was. I just watched a grossly intimate _moment_ with my Kim and another guy! A tall fat white guy. I was so enraged I wanted to throw up. I couldn't control what happened next; tearing out of my clothes, I was a wolf again and howling in my anger. I wanted to rip that guy's throat out and cry into Kim's arms. How could she? She was mine. What a childish thhought. I should have known she'd have someone else. She was such a wonderful person and I was an animal, in all ways. She was good and beautiful. She was my soulmate, who wasn't mine.

**Thanks for reading! Tell me what you think! I appreciate honesty so long as it isn't mean. :)**


	5. Doodles in the Margin

**Hey guys! Here's the next chapter. Here, a question is answered! Dun dun dun……**

Doodles in the Margin

Kim

I walked into algebra with a slight bounce in my step. Jared wasn't there yet, so I pulled out my notebook and started doodling. I thought my trip to the beach the day before and how happy Abel was. He made me really happy and apparently, I made him happy too. I felt really good about being with him and it warmed my heart. I drew pictures of the beach, even adding things I didn't have like an umbrella. I drew Abel in a snorkel get up. He would have liked to do that, I would think.

I looked up to see Jared walk in the door, and my heart began to race. I wondered if that'd ever stop. I smiled to say hello, but he looked at me really weirdly, almost harshly. I almost said hi, but he just sat down and didn't look up. My heart dropped. Was he mad at me? Why wasn't he talking to me? Yesterday he was all talkative and friendly, but now he was ice cold. I didn't like this change, and I was getting sad. I decided to let him be.

Halfway through the class, I was furiously writing notes that Mr. Evans was teaching on. The semester was just getting harder, and asymptotes were a little too complicated for my liking. There was something I was sure I had missed that probably would help me get the concept, so I flipped back to my first page to read it over. Out of nowhere, Jared stood up loudly from his chair and ran out the door, startling the pants off of me, and silencing the class, including Mr. Evans. He adjusted his glasses, a little confused at what happened, and then carried on the class. I just stared at the door, trying to wrap my head around what just happened. He didn't even take his stuff. What would make him leave in the middle of class like that? Before I knew it, the bell rang. I put his stuff in his bag, hoping, but not expecting now, that we were still meeting on Saturday for our project.

Jared

I couldn't look at her. I felt bad for ignoring her the way I did, but I couldn't deal with her having another guy. It was wrong. She was supposed to be with me. How could I be too late? I'd only met her less than a week ago. Sitting beside her, breathing in her scent and seeing her saddened face, I could barely hang on in that class. But seeing her doodles of a beach in the margins of her notes was the last straw for me. She was happy with this guy. She never smiled like that when she was with me. She seemed comfortable and warm. I was going to phase in that classroom and that would be bad. I ran out of that school as fast as I could. I stood at the school's boundaries breathing in and out, trying to control myself. I had to invent my own type of yoga to keep from phasing. I didn't want to strip and get dressed; plus someone might see since there was little foliage here. I was better than I thought I was and felt the burn under my skin and in my bones cool down. I squatted with my head in my hands. I tried to get the image out of my head. I tried to deny it, and then tried to accept it. Nothing was working. I was miserable at the thought that Kim wouldn't be mine. I had so many girls before, why couldn't I have her? This wasn't working. I couldn't go back to school; I knew I'd never make it. I'd have to leave my car overnight since I didn't have my keys and wasn't desperate enough to steal my own car. I didn't phase since I wasn't willing to run around naked when I was done. I just ran towards Sam's, hoping he'd be home.

"How long you've been waiting here," Sam asked. I looked up from where I was sitting on his stairs.

"A few hours," I said. I really needed to get this off my chest.

"Come in," he said. He looked like he just got off work and threw his keys on his counter. Sam's parents wouldn't be home till later that night, so I didn't feel like I was imposing. "It's about Kim and that guy, isn't it?" He saw me when I had phased after seeing Kim.

"I don't think I can control myself if I keep thinking about them," I said clenching my fists.

"You can't choose for her."

"What would you have done if Emily turned you down?" I asked seriously. Sam looked stunned, but I needed to know.

"She did at first," he said. "She said she'd never betray her cousin like that. Not in a million years. I thought I was in hell." I knew the rest of the story, so I didn't press him. I just leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes. "You want her to be happy," Sam asked. I thought about it. She was happy now with him, maybe she wouldn't be happy with me.

"Yeah, I want her to be happy."

"Then let that make your choices." I sighed. It was better than never seeing Kim again. At least I could be a good friend to her. And maybe in the future, I could be what I wanted to be to her.

I rang Kim's doorbell, hoping she'd let me in. I was feeling guilty for being such a jerk on Friday, so I hoped to make it up to her today. I heard someone approaching the door.

"Hello," the woman said.

"Hi, is Kim home?" She looked at me a little confused.

"Kim!" she called, giving me a finger to hold on. "Door!" I heard some running from upstairs and then saw Kim running to the door. At least I thought it was Kim. She was dressed in a grey one-piece long john thing, the kind that babies wear with a button up hole in the butt with her hair in a messy bun and a huge clip in her hair on the side. I almost laughed when I saw her. I quickly whipped out my cell phone and took a picure. She stared at me with huge eyes like she was shocked to see me.

"What are you doing here?" Kim said.

"We're still on for today, right?" She seemed at a loss, and then finally waved me to come in. "Were you sleeping, because it's like 5:00, you know," I said laughing at her outfit. I walked into her house, still staring at her awesome picture on my phone. It would become my wallpaper when I got a chance. She just smiled shyly and led me to the living room.

"Just give me 5 minutes," she said running upstairs. "Jaz! Get him something to drink!" I gestured to her that I didn't want anything, and she resumed doing whatever she was doing on the computer. Sure enough, 5 minutes later, Kim came running down the stairs. "I didn't think you were coming." I felt sheepish that she would think that.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about yesterday." She didn't ask more, so I didn't tell more. I took out what little I had to contribute. She had bought a poster board and we spent the next few hours putting out stuff together. It was still mostly Kim, which I figured would get her the better grade, but she made me do some of the poster to let people think I did something. She glued on the pieces, while I wrote the headings.

"Can I ask what was bothering you yesterday?" she asked me, not looking up from gluing the charts on the board. I looked back to see that her sister had left the room.

"To be honest, I was a little mad." She chuckled.

"I think I got that. What were you mad about?" Here it comes, I can't stop it from coming out.

"I don't know. I saw you a few days ago at the beach with some guy, and you guys seemed, really close." She looked up at me. "I felt really mad when I saw you with him, and then I saw your doodles of the beach yesterday, and I kinda lost it."

"You mean, jealous?" she asked. I nodded, embarrassed, but I wanted her to know the truth. "Why would you be jealous?"

"I don't know. What do you think that means?" She started to smile real big at me, which made me feel a little better.

"You were jealous," she said softly, maybe to herself.

"I saw a text message you got before of him asking to be your girlfriend." She laughed out loud and nodded, never losing her smile. "You love him, huh?" She nodded.

"I do." She laughed more, and I got the feeling there was a joke I was missing out on. "Um, do you want to meet him?" I just about had a stroke.

"Not really."

"No, it'll be fine. I promise. I told him I'd stop by today for an hour or so. It'll be easier to explain." Easier to explain. How hard could it be to explain?

She had no car, so I drove us a few blocks down to a small house with a Camry parked out front. This was a bad idea. I was afraid I'd lose it with this guy and take him out. But I trusted Kim, so I followed. She rang the doorbell.

"Hi Kim," an older woman opened the door.

"Hi Grace," Kim said. "This is my friend Jared. I wanted him to meet Abel."

"Oh sure, come on in." I stepped inside the house, following Kim. There were a lot of toys lying around and kids books that had those buttons to talk.

"Abel, Kim's here to see you," Grace announced. I heard someone yelling and then running in our direction.

I wouldn't have thought he was any different until I saw his feet. He was standing on the balls of his feet and flapping his arms as he charged us. He was as tall as me, but he never looked into my eyes.

"Abel, this is my friend Jared," Kim said. Abel gave her a kiss on the cheek, which she accepted and then he turned to me and kissed me on the cheek too. He looked at Grace and then ran back to his room. I was shocked. He seemed so normal when I saw him. I realized why she was so comfortable with him. She loved him like a mother would her child.

He didn't speak. We stayed and talked with Abel and his homecare worker for about an hour and then headed to get some food.

"Abel has autism," Kim explained to me as we rode in the car. "I grew up with him and his family. His parents took care of me and my sister a lot when my parents couldn't. They pay me to babysit sometimes too when they can't get a caregiver scheduled."

"And he doesn't talk?"

"No, he's learning to use a computer to communicate. His tutors have him send emails and texts to different people to practice and stay in touch."

"So the text that he sent you," I started. She laughed when I mentioned it.

"Yeah, he has crushes on all his caregivers. He tells us all the time that he loves us, he wants us to be his girlfriends, he misses us, and stuff." I smirked.

"Player." She smiled and looked down. "So you're a good person," I said like it was a revelation. "I haven't met a lot of you in my time."

"And you were jealous of him." I nodded.

"I was. I think it's nice that you stay so close to him." We didn't say anything after that. I pulled into a burger place and we went inside.

"I don't think I understand you," Kim said as we sat down with our food.

"Why not?" She shrugged.

"You never talked to me before, and then one day you just start."

"I just now have a reason to notice you," I said, referring to my imprinting.

"Still doesn't make any sense."

"I know. Maybe one day, if you wanna stick around, I'll be able to explain it to you." I decided now was as good as any to ask her what I wanted to know.

"Can I ask, what happened to your parents?" She slowed her chewing for a moment and then swallowed, taking a sip of Coke.

"They got in a car accident 4 years ago in one of those really bad storms," she said playing with her cup. "Alcohol. My dad died instantly, but my mom was conscious enough to dial 911."

"The other driver couldn't call?"

"There was no other driver." It took me awhile to put together what she was saying. "Your dad was the drunk driver." She nodded.

"It was still under the legal amount, but they more or less told me that because of the storm, that amount of alcohol would have made the difference. My mom slipped into a coma before we even got to the hospital, but the doctors declared her brain dead. My sister had to decide what to do from there."

"How old was she?"

"19. She had to drop out of college to take care of me, and got a job as a cook in some small restaurant outside of the reservation."

"I'm really sorry." I was really bad at this stuff; I really didn't know what to say. She breathed in sharply and gave me brave smile.

"We've done okay. I'm trying to get a scholarship so I can go to college too, that way maybe she can spend a little on herself more." She shrugged. I must've been so dense to think this girl was plain. Other girls I knew were so materialistic and selfish, but Kim was something else. "Shall we go?" I grabbed my drink to get a refill and we headed back to my car.

**And Bam! Now you know who the mystery texter is! Who loves this story? Show me love!**


	6. Be Careful, Stay Who You Are

**I just finished my midterm… I don't feel good about it. -___-**

**Anyway, you guys are leaving such wonderful comments! Keep 'em coming! :D**

**OMG!!! I'm so sorry for those who were like 'what the hell?!' when you opened this chapter. I totally had the wrong chapter. Thanks Gina Olivia for the heads up! Ok… here the is the next chapter.. and just to be nice, I'll throw another on there later tonight. :D**

Be Careful, Stay Who You Are

Kim

"So, how is Jared?" Amber asked.

"Very confusing, actually," I answered. I told her why Jared had been avoiding me on Friday, though it barely explained why he ran out during Algebra. I told her about him meeting Abel and then our conversation about my parents.

"You think, maybe he likes you?" she asked me. I liked to consider it, but I was still reserved on that one.

"It's just weird if he did, and probably not, but he acts like it." I noticed a hesitation about her. "What?"

"I don't really trust him."

"Why not?"

"It's just, he's not a good guy, you know. I know you liked him and all that, but really Kim, you really think he's going to be any different with you than he was with the others?" I was started to get defensive.

"I think he is a nice guy. He was really sweet with Abel and he really came through with our project and he seems, I don't know, interested when we talk." Amber just nodded and started picking at her Mexican rice before taking a forkful.

"It's probably nothing, but when I was talking to you on the phone, my dad heard me mention Jared's name and he ranted about how he's joined some gang with that guy, Sam." I remembered hearing about Sam when I first came into high school. Now that I thought of it, he was just as big as Jared. "He said that he's been hanging out with him a lot and that they're all taking steroids to stay really big." The idea of Jared taking drugs was ludicrous, but I had to admit, it was strange that he was so muscular.

"Jared wouldn't do drugs, and he's not in a gang." She shrugged. I wanted to stick up for Jared, but Amber wasn't the kind of person to think badly of anyone without cause, and I knew my opinion of him wasn't unbiased.

"I just think you should be careful. With any other guy, I wouldn't doubt you'd be able to hold your own. But with Jared, you're really vulnerable."

"I'll be careful, Amber, I promise. If not for my sake, then at least yours." She smiled weakly.

"I just hope he doesn't take away who you are."

Jared

"Have you seen this?" Sam asked me, throwing down the newspaper in front of me on Emily's dining table, which almost made me choke on my sandwich. I glanced at the article under the circled title. 6 teenagers within the past 2 months had died from drug overdose. "Article's saying there's a dealer on the reservation; they've been giving out 'samples' and then kids buy and sell for them. One kid tried to get out and he was nearly beaten to death." I threw aside the paper and took another bite.

"So what are we supposed to do?" I asked.

"Old Quil and the elders want us to deal with it."

"How?"

"Well, we're wolves, Jared. We deal with it how we want." He gave me a sneaky smile, which made me laugh. Sometimes, I really liked this job.

Kim

I loved dancing. It was the only time I really felt confident and beautiful, no matter what the reality was. I loved dance fashion and the way I felt when I moved and felt the music flow through my body. My teacher made it that much more enjoyable. She was so diverse in what dance styles she taught. Hip hop required a certain personality to really pull it off, so while I could physically do the moves, it just didn't look right when I did it. I loved the jazz unit we had just wrapped up, and the other American forms of dance like modern and ballet (yes, I know that ballet is French, but you know what I mean). Now we were moving on to ethnic dance.

Before today, I only studied belly dancing through tutorials on YouTube and DVDs. This was by far my favorite. I loved how the dance celebrated the body with isolations and how conservative, yet beautiful and sexy it really was. It was a dance that was seductive, yet didn't give away the whole farm. The class seemed to end too soon and I knew I'd be practicing tonight in my bathroom mirror.

"Kim," I heard Mrs. Karenini call as I was about to leave the studio. "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me out." She was an older woman who had more energy than any young person. She spoke with a bit of an accent, slight but noticeable, maybe Russian. "The school is holding a fundraiser show, School Frolic, or something, and I have been asked to handle the dance portion of it. I was wondering if you'd be interested in being involved." My heart almost leapt at the chance of dancing in a real show. I nodded profusely. "Good, good. We'll meet at least twice a week for an hour or so to rehearse. And you'll probably be involved in at least two routines, if that's all right with you."

"Yeah, that's fine," I answered enthusiastically. I walked out of the studio ecstatic, only to have it topped off by seeing the most perfect person waiting for me outside.

Jared

"So what was keeping you," I asked her when I walked out of the studio. Her cheeks were so rosy and her smile was gleaming. Gleaming. Now there's a word I never used before this moment.

"Um, I just got asked to dance in Spring Frolic," she replied. I laughed her, and then stopped when I saw her get offended. I went to a Spring Frolic once; it's the school's attempt to rake in some more money for supplies and stuff, which I guess is good. Usually the performances were really corny or lame, but it got teachers and students to show off whatever it was they did. "I know it's not really your scene, but would you come?" She blushed and looked down when she asked, making circles with her toe.

"I would love to come." Her face lit up and didn't dull as I walked her to her bike.

We reached her bike and I lifted it off the bike rack and pointed it in her direction.

"Thank you," she said. "I guess I'll see you." She waved and turned her back. I couldn't take it anymore. I hated seeing her back all the time. I'd only known her a few weeks, but I didn't want to wait anymore. Would I scare her off? Was it too soon? I battled with myself before impulse took over.

"Kim," I called after her. She turned around and my heart jumped into my throat. "You, uh, can I see you, tonight?" I never had so much trouble asking a girl out. I was so nervous, and my palms would be sweating if they could. But I wanted to look her in the eye when I asked. She looked shocked, like she didn't know what to say. O crap. It's too soon. She still doesn't trust me. Should I play this off as a friend thing?

"Um, sure," she said slowly. "Yeah, I guess that's okay."

"Okay," I said a little relieved. "Okay then. I'll see you tonight." She nodded with a smile and then peddled away. I punched the air in victory and almost smacked a dude in the face, but I didn't care. I ran to my car to drive home to get ready for my date.

Kim

Did Jared... ask me out? No, he didn't _like_ me. That wasn't happening. Then what was this? His next one? No, he wouldn't do that. I wasn't sure what I felt. There wasn't anything more in the world I wanted than to go out with Jared, but Amber's warning and my own insecurities kept ringing in my ear. I was getting scared. No, no. I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head. This is what I wanted. I'd have been in love with Jared for so long. I peddled harder and faster, trying to convince myself that tonight was going to be a good thing.

Jared

Was it too early? 3:30 was probably too early. Why was this clock so slow? I threw it across the room. I leaned over the side of my bed and put my head in my hands. I was already showered and in fresh clothes. I needed to be distracted. I really wanted to see Kim. I wanted to feel her skin and her hot breath. Maybe I could just sneak a peek at her from the window. That's disgusting, why would I do that? Hours went by and I barely moved from my bed. Funny how slower the time went by when you sat completely still. 5:30 is late enough, right? Usually when I took out a girl, I'd wait till around 7 or 8. I thought about my past relationships. I'd have to explain myself to Kim; I wanted her to know what kind of guy I was and who I wanted to be, who she made me want to be. I'd have to tell her about being a werewolf and what that meant for her to be with me. That would probably be a bad conversation. At 6:00, I headed out the door.

Kim

"Hey Kim," my sister called when she got home from work. I looked up from the dining table where I was doing my homework.

"Hey Jasmine."

"Guess what," she said. She seemed excited. "I got the interview!" A wave of mixed emotion hit my bloodstream. I literally froze for a good 4 seconds before my body decided to react. I jumped and plastered a huge smile across my face.

"Oh, congratulations!" I exclaimed, giving my sister a huge hug. She needed this; she deserved this, and it was tearing me apart. "How'd it happen? Tell me everything." My sister delved into her story about a call she got at work and that they were looking for a sous-chef with a fresh style. She was so happy talking about the position.

"The interview isn't for a month or so," she continued. "There's apparently quite a few applicants who are probably a lot more qualified than me, but it's still kind of exciting. I'll probably have to stay the night as well since it's kinda far."

"It's in the bag," I encouraged. "No lie, your experimentations always turn out so good."

"I think this could be really good for us," she said. "Okay, well I'm gonna go practice something to make for my interview." She squealed and then ran off into the kitchen.

"Oh, Jasmine," I called after her. "I won't be able to be your test dummy though. I... kind of have a date tonight." She poked her head out of the refrigerator.

"Date?" She looked intrigued. She closed the fridge door and walked over to me. "I didn't know you were into anyone. Who's the lucky guy?"

"It may not actually be a date, I don't really know. But his name is Jared."

"Jared? Your crush Jared?" My face dropped.

"How did you know about that?"

"My dear girl, every mother reads her daughter's diary." She patted my head before returning to the kitchen.

" You read my diary?!" My face turned white. I wrote a lot of things about Jared in that diary.

"Oh, don't worry about it. Seems to me he's going to need shock therapy by the time you're done with him." I groaned. I really wanted a bus to run me over right now. "So, is this a date?"

"That's still kinda up in the air," I muttered, still not recovering from the embarrassing invasion of privacy.

"I was just wondering if you guys wouldn't mind stopping by to judge some stuff I wanted to try out for my interview." I remembered my conflict when I was biking home earlier.

"Actually, yeah, that sounds perfect. I'll run it by him." Perfect. Now there was absolutely no way I'd be doing anything I'd regret tonight. "We'll be in around 9, is that okay?"

"Sounds great. Thanks Kim."

"Thank _you_," I answered and ran upstairs to get ready for my date.

**Aww.. they're going out on a date! Or is it? Of course it is. Like you don't already know. NEwayz… I watched New Moon again. Victoria is truly the most awesome vampire in the world, no? I am not a huge huge fan of the fan, or the director, but I LOVED that scene with Victoria and the wolves. That and the fight with Edward and Felix made the movie worthwhile. :D **

**Tell me how I did!**


	7. The First Time I Saw You

**Oo.. you guys are so lucky I messed up and gave you the wrong chapter last time. I really liked this chapter and wanted you guys to wait for it. O well… you are the most endearing readers, so here is my love for you. :D**

The First Time I Saw You

Jared

I was so nervous I almost broke the steering wheel off of my car when I pulled up in her driveway. I hoped the evening I had planned would work out the way I wanted. I really wanted to show Kim a good time. I rang her doorbell.

"Hi, Jared," Kim said. She looked so good. Not overdone with makeup and strappy shoes, but very simple and refreshing. I was very pleased. "So what's on the agenda tonight?"

"That is a surprise," I said. I smiled at the evening I had planned for us. I opened the passenger door for her and she hopped in. I clamored back to my side and we were off.

"Um, why are we going in the direction of our school?" she asked. I just smiled and held my tongue. I parked on the street instead of the school parking lot, just in case, and let her out. I grabbed a cooler from the backseat and led her to our algebra building. She looked at me all weird.

"No one's here," I assured her. There were no heartbeats or strange smells for miles, so we were safe. Of course, she didn't know that. Her face gave her away. "Here." I shouted as loud as I could, which made her jump and cover her ears. I waited for a bit so she knew that no one was coming for us. I took out a bobby pin and started to pick the lock, careful not to bend the pin too hard to break it inside.

"What are you doing?" she asked me.

"I promise we won't do anything bad. I just want to show you something." She started looking around, her heartbeat racing. I got the door open and held it open for her. She hesitated and bit her lip. "Do you trust me?" She seemed to take a moment to think about it and then slowly walked in. I did one last check for passerbys and entered myself. I pulled her chair from her usual seat and gestured for her to sit. After she sat, I took my seat next to her.

"I don't know if you noticed," I started, "but I'm going through something that's kinda hard to deal with." I was looking at my hands which were folded on my desk. I saw her staring at me from the corner of my eye. "The first time I saw you after that, you somehow made it all better. I wanted to bring you to the spot when I first realized how much I liked you." There. The words were out and they may fall where they may. My heart started pounding. I looked up her face. Her eyes were wide.

Kim

Did he really just say those words? Did he tell me he liked me? Where did that come from? I was so shocked and dazed, I couldn't absorb his words. I should probably say something, but it was like writing a blank sheet of paper. He was fidgeting and rubbing the back of his neck. Was he nervous? Was that possible?

"Uh... how is that.. I mean why... but you..." I stuttered. I wasn't even sure what I wanted to know.

"I know it's kind of random. I don't know. One day, I just sort of noticed you and I couldn't get you out of my head since." This was unreal. I must be dreaming, but I wasn't going to pinch myself to find out though. "Please say something."

"I just... I don't think I can believe it," I managed to say.

"You don't trust me," he said like he knew what I was thinking. I felt ashamed to think of him like that. "It's okay, there's no reason why you should. I don't exactly have a good track record. I'll have to earn it." Jared was willing to take the time to slowly earn my trust. This had to be a game. "Here, ask me anything." I was stunned, but decided it was as good an opener as any.

"Um, okay. How many girls have you dated?" I asked. He looked uncomfortable, possibly regretting this suggestion.

"Define dating." Dang, were there different definitions?

"Girlfriends." Again, he looked uncomfortable.

"I lost track." My jaw dropped. How do you lose track of how many girlfriends you've had?

"So if I hold up my hands, how many fingers would I need to put down?"

"3… if you had a few more fingers." I laughed.

"Okay, been on at least one date with." He shifted in his seat.

"More than the number of girlfriends." More shock.

"How many have you.... you know?" He had no more level of uncomfortableness. "At least a ball park?" He thought really hard. "More than 10?" Shifting. "More than 20?" No response. "Okay, it's probably better I not know." He looked relieved, but guilty. I stared forward to let it sink into me the reality of who he was.

"I'm not looking for that kind of relationship with you," he said finally. I looked down. "I was stupid. I was always, just looking for something to fill a void, but doing it my way, I never even came close to filling it. But you know, 300 looks at you and I was hooked." I laughed. I may be suspicious, but I had to admit he was still charming. "I, in no way, deserve someone as great as you, but I promise that I am the perfect guy for you."

Jared

"What about... Amber told me that she heard you were in a gang," she said. I knew what people were saying about us and should have known that would get to her.

"I'm not in a gang or a cult. Sam and Paul, those guys are going through the same thing I'm going through. They've really helped me out."

"They say you don't talk to your friends anymore." I felt bad about ditching my friends. Some I'd known for years. But it couldn't be helped.

"It's not safe for me to be near them."

"What about me?" I thought about Sam's girlfriend. I couldn't guarantee that would never happen to Kim.

"It's probably not safe for you either. But I'm willing to try real hard to keep you safe."

"Will you ever tell me about what it is you're going through?"

"Yes." She just nodded. She didn't ask, so I didn't offer anymore. Maybe she had heard enough for one day.

"My sister is going for an interview in Seattle in a month." My heart sank. "If she gets the job, we're moving there." She started playing with her fingers. "I just thought you should know since we're having this conversation." I was utterly speechless. How was it that as soon as I found my perfect girl, she needed to leave? I smacked myself to pull it together and decided to not burden her.

"We'll make the most of what we have," I offered. "It'll work out." She seemed relieved, and I hoped my words were true.

"I've been in love with you for a long time," she said. I froze. I kinda guessed before, but it sang differently to me to hear it from her. She did like me. She _loved_ me. And I loved her. I took her hand and brushed her cheek with my fingers. She smelled so sweet and fresh. Her heart sped up, and I felt couldn't help but smile. But tonight wasn't about that kind of romance. I pulled away and opened the cooler beside me and pulled out a bucket of KFC and 2 cans of soda.

"Here, you must be hungry." I opened both of our cans and the bucket of chicken and offered her one. I even liked to watch her eat, and I usually hated to watch women eat. I asked her about her favorite things and her hobbies and such. She began to open up and told me her plans to become involved in working with special needs children and parts of her childhood, even her parents. Eventually we packed up and I made sure the place was left as we found it. (The chicken smell would probably dissipate by the next day.) We headed back to her place to try some of her sister's concoctions for an interview I secretly wished she would fail.

**Heh heh heh…. I was thinking of adding a scene where Jared is trying to tell Jasmine she needs to put like a lot more salt in the cupcakes, but this seemed like a good place to end. So I'm on spring break now. Woo hoo! **


	8. My World of Dance

**Thanks for all those who added my story and commented. I didn't get as much this time as I did before, but I still appreciate everyone who encouraged me to update. Here is the next chapter!**

My World of Dance

Kim

The next day after school, Mrs. Karenini had me come in to start rehearsals for the Spring Frolic. As I changed, I reflected on the day's events that seemed to have progressed my relationship with Jared. It was raining in the morning, and true to his word, Jared called and told me that he would pick me up. I remembered him taking my hand and holding it like we were a couple. I felt the burns of people's stares and I was sure he could feel my pulse through my fingers, but it was very exciting. He and Paul sat with Amber and me at lunch for the first time, and was as charming as ever with Amber, which eased her mind about me spending time with him. He even tried to come to watch me after school, but Mrs. Karenini kicked him out, saying no one was allowed to see the dances until the final performance. Yes, things were looking good for Jared and Kim.

"I wouldn't get so attached," I heard that same annoying voice behind me in the locker room. I slid on my leg warmers before turning around. Didn't this girl have a toilet to throw up in? "You have the look of Jared love in your eyes. You're just his next big project. But he'll tire out once he realizes how much of a prude you no doubt are." She gave me a look before walking out in the rain to the studio and while I waited a few seconds before following her in. Mrs. Karenini had evidently also asked her and a group of her friends to dance in the showcase as well. I believed no good could come from this. This was until I stepped out of the studio after practice to see Jared standing in the rain, where I knew he would wait to take me home.

"He seems all right," Amber confessed when I was talking to her on the phone. I told her about her about the date and how he'd be acting around me the past few days. And she had been able to see for herself how great Jared was. "He does seem to really like you, Kim. When he looks at you, I don't know, I don't really know if a guy would know how to fake that." I laughed at her comment, and her approval was really a comfort to me.

"I can't believe this is happening sometimes, you know. Crushes never actually like you back. At least in my experience." She chuckled and then was silent for a bit.

"Kim, you haven't.. you know." I was totally thrown aback at the question.

"No! He hasn't even kissed me yet."

"Oh good. I mean, I didn't think so, that you guys did... I just.. there's a rumor going around about you guys."

"Rumor?"

"I knew it wasn't true; I just didn't know how to bring it up with you. But I didn't like people talking behind your back without you knowing about it."

"What are they saying?" I asked. I heard her sigh.

"People are saying that Jared got you pregnant, and he's owning up to it, which is why he's hanging out you so much, but never kissing you or really doing more than hold your hand. Apparently someone saw you throw a pregnancy test in the trash can in the girls' bathroom which was positive." I felt my blood boil. How dare they try to take away from the beauty of our relationship. I liked that we were taking things slow, and I liked that Jared didn't seem to mind taking it slow. "They're just jealous of you guys," Amber said, trying to reassure me. I could tell she felt bad for being the one to tell me. I hated to admit how much the rumor bothered me, but I was glad I knew.

"I know. Thanks, Am. You're a good friend," I told her.

Jared

"You haven't kissed her yet?" Paul shouted surprised when we phased back after a run. I still wasn't used to the whole no clothes deal. We'd need to find a better way to stash our clothes other than the branch of a tree.

"She doesn't seem the type of girl to just do that so soon," I said, finding my shorts and throwing them on. I looked back at Paul who was pointing his shorts at me, buck naked.

"So soon? Hasn't it been weeks that you guys starting going out?"

"It's her first kiss; it should be, you know, something cool. Like on a beach or with a bunch of candles lit around."

"If imprinting turns you into a woman, I'd say no thanks," Paul replied finally deciding to put his shorts on. "What do you guys do?"

"Talk mostly. I take her to different places or sometimes I just drive her home, but we talk a lot."

"Talk. I don't think I've ever _talked_ to a woman. I usually just skip to the good stuff."

"She's interesting. You know she's had a crush on me for like three years?" I smiled at that one.

"Yeah, I got that," he said sarcastically. I knew I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her, even when running around as a giant wolf.

"Anyway, you coming to the Spring Frolic tonight?" It was the first I was going to watch Kim perform. She said she was belly dancing, so I was a little excited.

"Why would I go?" Paul asked.

"We gotta support Kim." Paul looked like he was ready to fight me off, but I just stared at him like he was a 5-year old trying to get out of a haircut until he finally caved.

"You seen Embry around?" I asked him.

"Call? Yeah, Sam's stalking him to see when he'll change. Ten bucks says it's within the week."

"You're on."

Kim

I was so nervous. This was the first I'd dance in public and people outside of dance class never saw me as the dance type. I was especially nervous that Jared was going to see me. Amber said I got the dance down cold and she would never lie to me. The costumes we got to wear for my first performance were so beautiful; it was a shame we couldn't wear them in the streets. It was an elaborately beaded bra top and matching pants and I had a hip scarf tied around my waste. I was a little self-conscious about my belly since I wasn't as thin as the other girls, but there wasn't anything I could do about that now. I wished I was able to see the rest of the show since my part wasn't until the second half.

Jared

I looked at the program some girl with batty eyes gave me and looked for Kim's name. She wasn't even on until the second half of the show. Crap, so I had to watch some skits and cheers before I saw my Kim. Paul was smart; he wasn't gonna show until the last half hour to say he saw the show. I thought about wandering around and coming back until I saw her friend Amber.

"Amber!" I called after her. It looked like she was going somewhere. "Where you going?"

"I wanted to wish Kim good luck," she said.

"I'll come with you." Amber was very useful. Apparently the teachers loved her, so they didn't give her beef about going backstage. I hoped that I looked scary enough for people not to stop me either.

"Mrs. Karenini," Amber called to Kim's dance teacher. She turned around. "Do you know where Kim is?"

"She's getting her makeup done, my dear," she said in a thick European accent. I was worried she would kick us out, but she seemed too busy to care.

"I'm gonna sneak a peek to try to find her. Stay here," she told me. I guessed it was easier to find her if there wasn't a crowd, so I stayed put. I crossed my arms and leaned against the wall, trying to stay out of everyone's way. I didn't even recognize half of these people. I guess to perform in one of these calls a different kind of crowd than I'm used to. Except for Kim of course.

"Never thought I'd see you at one of these," I heard a voice beside me say. It sounded familiar. I turned to see Natasha standing there, uncomfortably close. She was tall; she barely had to look up at me and she was in some kind of Sari outfit.

"I'm just here to see Kim," I said. Natasha stepped even closer and batted her eyes. Did that used to work on me? I couldn't remember, because now it was making me a little angry.

"I think it's nice that you hang out with her. She doesn't have a lot of friends." I wanted to defend Kim to Natasha, but thought better of it to not give her the satisfaction.

"I like her. She's a nice girl." Natasha seemed unconvinced.

"So you gonna watch me dance?"

"I'm here to watch Kim."

"You could watch both of us. We're doing a dance together." Wow, she wasn't getting the hint. I was getting annoyed with this girl, but she seemed to be taking everything I said different than I meant it.

"We're doing this awful belly dance routine and we have..." I stopped listening to her when I saw Kim and Amber coming out of a door where I guessed they were doing makeup. She was wearing something that kinda looked like Natasha's but a different color, and with pants, but somehow it suited Kim. It was the first time I saw her body and her makeup was all done up. She was beautiful, not because of the paint on her face, but she seemed to belong here. I straightened up and walked over to her, probably while Natasha was mid sentence.

"Wow, you look... great," I told her. She blushed.

"Thank you," she said laughing.

"You nervous?"

"A little. We're doing a balancing dance and if the thing falls off my head, it's hard to really recover from that."

"I've seen you do the whole thing without anything falling off your head," Amber spoke up. "You'll do great." I liked Amber. She seemed like a good friend for Kim. She looked at me. "She was balancing books and water bottles, anything that seemed hard to balance, she used it. Even walked around the house with something on her head for like 4 hours."

"But never in front of people!" Amber gave her a look. "You're not people. You're person. And my best friend." The lights dimmed a little bit and I heard music playing. Old Dance Lady and some other teacher were shushing everyone. There was a TV set up with a camera so everyone could watch the show. Kim found us a couple of seats in front of the television in the back row, sitting between me and Amber. I wasn't here to watch a show. Hoping the chair wouldn't make too much noise, I easily slid her chair over to touch mine and wrapped my arm around her. I felt her body stiffen a little bit before relaxing and she glanced over at Amber who gave her a wink. This I could get very used to.

Kim

We were the next up, so Amber and Jared snuck out before intermission was over. I was balancing the sword on my head and pacing to practice and find my core. The sword lay horizontally on my head, with my head slightly closer to the handle accounting for the weight. Mrs. Karenini had an impressive collection of them that she allowed us to use for the performance and one time during dress rehearsal. I saw Natasha eyeing me up and down. She had jealousy steaming out of her ears. I could feel her staring at us when Jared put his arm around me earlier, but that was hardly my focus. I could still feel the weight of his muscular arms wrapped around my shoulders. I felt so small and safe under it. Thinking about him only made me more nervous, so I tried to shake it off and focus on the dance.

Our cue was called and the six of us walked out on stage carrying our swords and then placed on the floor after we got in formation. We were in two rows, staggered. The back row didn't have anything on their heads. Natasha stood behind me. I could barely see the audience under all of the lights, but Amber was waving around so profusely that even a blind man could spot her. I saw Jared sitting beside her, and even Paul had shown up. I took a deep breath and heard the music come on. We shimmied and chassed around before picking up our swords and placing them on our heads. The balancing made our movements more subtle and strict, while the back row was able to show the moves a little more exaggeratedly. I snaked my arms, my shoulder popping back and forth to the rhythm, keeping the other dancers in my peripheral to stay in sync. My camels seemed good, the wave my body made was smooth and flowy. This kind of move made even a chubby girl seem sexy. We stepped up and down to the side and even shimmied, shaking our hips to the sides. I really liked to show off the hip isolations. It made me feel like I could detach a part of my body from the rest. Now came the hard part. I knelt low with my companions and leaned on arm on the floor and did the camel on the floor with one leg floating in the air. We rolled onto our bellies and slowly kicked out feet like a child would do when he had a tantrum. We rolled around again, still keeping the sword balanced on our heads. Getting up was difficult because you had to keep your head stationary while the rest of the body straightened up, while still looking graceful with the legs. I got into position with my arms waving in front of me.

I couldn't even explain how, but one second the weight on my head suddenly lightened, and then next I heard a loud disrupting clanging on the floor. My sword had fallen off. But it didn't just fallen off. Swords don't just twist around on their own. Someone pushed it off my head, and I had an aching suspicion who it was. I continued to dance without missing a beat or changing my facial expression as if nothing had happening. While we were doing some more hip isolations, I slowly knelt down to pick up the sword and placed it back on my head, taking a small step forward in case Natasha was tempted to do it again. The last move, we were spinning. I lightly placed my hand on the sword to start spinning and once the momentum was gained, I released it so that I was spinning while balancing the sword on my head. Timing was important for the ending, so I counted the beats of the drums and at the last note of the song, we all stopped spinning, and abruptly lifted the sword off our heads and posed to signify the ending of the dance. The audience clapped and cheered and we filed our way back behind the stage.

"That was a nasty fall," Natasha said smugly as she walked passed me. "Should've practiced more with that sword."

"Yeah, funny how things can fall when someone knocks it off," I retorted before going back into the makeup room to get ready for my solo.

I was a tad worried about this next dance. Mrs. Karenini wanted to make a statement with it about the importance of being yourself and being free to express our thoughts. It was a mixture of modern, ballet, and jazz. The dance was simple enough for me to do, considering my history with dance, but I was afraid I wouldn't be able to get the emotions out. I put on my shoes and took a deep breath and waited for my cue.

Jared

Kim was up next. I waited anxiously in my chair. The curtains went up, and there she was lying on the floor. She rose and moved her arms around and then started dancing. I never appreciated dance, not anything outside of parties and school dances. But I loved to watch my Kim move. Her little body folded and stretched in ways that made me cringe, but I saw how much she was enjoying it. She was happy; she was herself. This was how she was meant to be seen. It was like all her insecurities and masks that she hid behind fell off and had no place on her. If I didn't know it before, I knew it now. She wasn't just a beautiful person on the inside, her outside was gorgeous too. She carried herself in ways I thought were admirable and brave. Her song was over and she took her bow. I applauded as loud as I could, and shook Paul awake to clap as well. I clapped even when she walked off stage and then some until it would've been strange for me to still be clapping. Just as I was about to leave to get her, Amber handed me a bouquet of flowers and gave me a smile. Flowers, I didn't even think to bring her flowers. I thanked her for her thoughtfulness and ran backstage to see Kim.

She was taking a sip of water with a hand on a curve of her hip. I ran up to her just as she saw me and picked her up in a hug.

"You were amazing," I told her as I put her down and handed her the bouquet. "They're actually from Amber, but she gave me them to give to you."

"Thank you," she said. "I kinda messed up on one part. I ended up on the wrong foot, so I had to improvise to get back on track.."

"It was perfect. You were perfect." She just smiled and I brushed my fingers across her cheek again.

"Brave move with the leotards," some guy said walking past us. "At least you're not showing too much yet." He smirked at me and walked off. What the hell did that mean? I looked at Kim who looked embarrassed and hurt and was biting at the edge of her cup.

"What was that about?" I asked her. She just shrugged.

"I think there's a curtain call soon, so I'll get changed after that and meet you at the front?" I nodded and went out to join Paul and Amber. I thought more about that guy's comment. Was it a fat joke? 'Showing much yet.' What could that mean?

"Hey Amber," I said, deciding to get someone else's take on this. "What do you think it means when you hear 'you're not showing much yet'?" She looked at me all confused.

"'Showing?' Like you're pregnant?" she asked. Pregnant. Was that guy saying she was so fat she looked pregnant?

"Would that make sense? Some guy told Kim it was brave for to wear whatever because she wasn't showing yet." Amber's face dropped, and I knew she knew something I didn't. "What?"

"What a terrible thing to say," she said to herself. She gave a sigh and then looked back at me. "There was a rumor going around saying that you were hanging out with Kim because you got her pregnant." I felt my ears turn red and my skin crawl. Who would dare say something like that about Kim? I didn't even notice how much I was shaking until Paul put his hand on my shoulder.

"You all right, man?" he asked. I calmed down and regained my composure. I wanted to make Kim feel beautiful. I walked out with the others to go meet her outside.

**Wow, super long chapter.. I've never gone over 3000 words in a chapter. Sorry if it took you guys more than one sitting to read it, but there didn't seem to be a good place to end it until after the show. Newayz… comments?**


	9. Crash Into Me

**I've been sick this past week and I'm super tired now, but I wanted to get this chapter up. :D**

Crash Into Me

Jared

Amber squealed when she saw Kim walking out with her bag in regular clothes and no makeup, giving her a hug.

"You are beautiful," she exclaimed.

"Thanks. And thanks for coming. You too, Paul, I know this isn't your thing," Kim replied.

"Oh yeah. It was great. I didn't fall asleep at all." _Smooth, Paul_. After a few more minutes of talking with our friends, I offered to take Kim home since her sister dropped her off before going to work and was bikeless.

"I'm sorry about what that guy said you to earlier," I said as we walked to the parking lot. I felt like she deserved an apology, but she just waved her hand.

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing. They shouldn't be... I'm sorry, it's because you're with me."

"I'd rather it be this way then." I didn't like that people thought so little of Kim to think I'd only be with her for that. When we reached my car, I looked up at Kim and saw a tear roll down her cheek and my heart broke in two. I gently caught the tear on her face before it could roll off. I pulled her to my chest and wrapped my arms around her. She was so small and fragile. I was made to take care of this girl.

"Come on, I'll take you home." More than anything, I wanted to kiss her right then and there, but the moment seemed too somber and ordinary, so I took her home like a gentleman. I'd get my chance.

Kim

The following Monday, I noticed the whispers. Maybe they were always there; I wasn't sure. A few people who had come to the Frolic told me they really liked my dance, but others used it as fuel to egg on the rumor. Evidently it was the juiciest thing people had come up with. (It was a small school.) Now, I was apparently pregnant with twins and was slutty enough that the baby may not be Jared's. I tried not to let the stares and whispers get to me, but it was hard when people literally talked behind my back. _Seriously, people. Have some tact! _

"I heard they did it underwater."

"How many months is she?

"She looks at least six."

"Wasn't he going out with Natasha six months ago? They always cheat with the uglies."

"What did her parents say?"

"She doesn't got none. Her dad was drunk and killed both of them." That one hurt the most.

Seeing Jared brightened me. I didn't lie when I told him I'd rather it be this way. I loved the way he looked at me. He seemed worried when he saw me, so I put on my bravest smile and assured him I was fine. Truth be told, I never liked attention, especially this kind. I had always self-confidence issues, especially concerning my weight. I worried that Jared would realize spending time with me wasn't worth it. That was the worst part of all. I told Jared that Amber and I had to go talk to a teacher about getting her on the basketball team during lunch, but I really wanted to unload on Amber. I needed my best friend today.

I walked to her locker after getting my lunch. There was a note taped to it, so I pulled it off and read it.

_Kim,_

_My cramps have gotten the better of me, so I went home. Hopefully no one else will read this. Please burn. Call me tonight!_

Great. I had no best friend whose shoulder I could cry on, and I wanted Jared to think I was okay. I walked over to my tree and ate my lunch and then headed off to the library to kill the time. I did homework and went online. I found a few dance videos that made the time fly. Finally, five minutes before the bell, rang, I figured I should use the restroom before heading to class. I made my way across the quad before I was surrounded by 3 incredibly tall girls, Natasha's breasts almost poking my eyes out.

"Well if it isn't poor knocked up fatty," Natasha cooed. I exhaled sharply. Did bullies like this actually exist? One girl who reminded me of Amy Whinehouse was chewing her gum and twirling her hair with a finger, the other hand on her hip; the other girl was a jock, who could've been a big guy in a blond wig. The girls closed in on me, a crowd forming in the background. I wouldn't let my face show it, but I was scared, like on-the-verge-of-crying scared. I didn't like this; I wanted a rescue.

Jared

Lunch without Kim was stupid. Paul was useless as ever. I knew those rumors were getting to Kim. She was the one the normal eye forgot; she wasn't used to being noticed, and this didn't tempt her to know it better. I was a guardian, a protector, and the one person whom I would swear to protect over any other I could do nothing for. I hoped that she and Amber had finished talking to their teacher. I really wanted to see her. I ditched Paul and wandered off to find her. I breathed in the air to catch her scent, surprised to find it coming from the middle of the quad. She was standing no more than 100 yards from me, surrounded by Natasha and her lovely, and diverse, range of friends. I could hear them throw their words at her like daggers. Her face was looking down and gave away no emotion, but I knew she was breaking. The wind blew her hair, which made me hunger for her more. She seemed to know I was there and turned to look at me. All of a sudden, the girls and crowd around her disappeared and she was all I saw. She smiled at me, the brave one she always wore, but this one was different. She was telling me that she was okay.

My heart ached. I wanted to tell her I loved her and erase any doubt of it. My feet started to move to her, slowly at first, but the stronger her scent got and the faster I went. If I had been any farther, I would've given away my speed, but I had only enough time to quicken to a run. Her eyes never left mine as I approached; her smile didn't change. I ran to Kim, my heart pounding faster with every stride, my need for her growing more urgent. I only slowed down enough to lessen the momentum, pushing the tall blond to the side, and crashed my lips onto Kim's. I caressed her face and neck, my hand on her lower back. I could only imagine the faces of the people witnessing our first kiss, but they didn't exist in that memory for me. It was only me and Kim, my arms wrapped tightly around her, only her lips reacting to my touch. She tasted heavenly and I took in every detail of her. I combed my fingers through her hair as I pulled away to catch my breath and stared into her starry eyes before kissing her again. The bell to end lunch went off, but neither of us moved. The crowds moved on and even Natasha and her gang puffed off, but Kim and I stayed. For that moment, the world stood still and it was ours.

Kim

_Dear Diary,_

_Jared kissed me today._

_Love,_

_Jared's Girlfriend_

**Aww…. Their first kiss. How nice.**


	10. Wolf Story

**I am SOO sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up. After spring break, I've been pretty busy. Plus, I've been neglecting one of my other stories, and I finally got some inspiration for it, so I wanted to get that finished up. So, here is the next chapter. A very typical scenario, when Jared tells her about his wolf side. Oo… how will she react?**

Wolf Story

Jared

Kissing Kim was the greatest idea I had ever had. She was so warm and soft, and I only wanted more. Becoming a wolf only made that animal desire stronger and I had to suppress it to keep from doing something to hurt or scare her. I was falling hard for this girl. Sometimes I thought this was what I was looking for when I was with the other girls, but never found it. I was glad to have imprinted on someone as good and kind as Kim. She deserved the world. So now, the next step was telling her about being a werewolf. And I was not looking forward to it. How would I tell her? How would she believe me? And will she want to stay with me after finding out? That last question really bugged me.

I was running through the forest when it began to rain. It had taken us weeks to find the guy dealing the drugs. Some prick from the Makah rez. Yeah, we've had beef with them before. But we were able to execute a rather delicious plan to make our point known.

I wanted to stretch my legs and just run as fast as I could in the pouring ran. I barely caught the scent of a human and slowed down. I couldn't find the source, not in the rain. I looked around, and then the smell was gone. I figured it was in my head and phased back and just stood naked in the forest, letting the rain wash over my hot skin. I wouldn't have known anyone was there if he didn't groan. I looked up and sure enough, behind a tree, stood Abel in his raincoat, clutching a plastic cup, staring straight at me. _How long has he been standing there? How much did he see?_ I heard another human, probably his caregiver, close behind him. I figured my only chance was to run for it, or explain why I was standing naked in the rain. My gaze never broke with Abel's until I made the snap decision to run and phase. I was going over the danger in my head of what just happened. _Abel can't talk, but he communicates. Not a lot of people would take him seriously, but there are people who do. Maybe he won't say anything, maybe he will. Would people believe that he saw a wolf turn into a man and then back? Not likely. Would he be able to keep quiet about it? Can he control things that he says? _I didn't know much about people with autism, so I wasn't sure what to think of it. My only hope was to sit on my hands and pretend nothing happened. Kim said he was intelligent; maybe I could reason with him not to tell. This could be bad, but most likely not. People wouldn't believe it, no matter who told. For now, I'd have to bank on that.

Kim

I just stared at Abel's computer screen, not really sure what to make of it. I was spending the afternoon with him while he parents were out running errands. I had asked him how he liked meeting Jared the other day.

"Jared is dangerous," was what Abel had typed.

"Abel, how is Jared dangerous?" He didn't say anything. He tried to push away the small laptop as if he didn't want to type anymore, but I urged him. "Abel, why do you think Jared is dangerous?"

"Jared is a wolf." And with that he stood up and slammed the door to his room, not explaining what he meant by that. Jared is a wolf? Like metaphorically? Well, obviously not literally. Abel never lied. He would type things up that seemed crazy, but they always ended up making sense. I knew he was trying to tell me something, but he was conflicting with himself. For a few minutes, I let him be. About a half an hour later, Abel swung open the door of his room and headed for his father's library, scanning through the books. Abel himself rarely read books, though he could read. He didn't have enough coordination to flip pages in a book and it was difficult for us to tell when he was done. Usually he was read to or listened to audio books. Yet somehow he knew the contents of almost every book in the house. I watched him look through the titles of the books before he pulled one out and threw it in front of me before going back to his room. Quileute legends: The Protectors. I stared at the cover completely confused, but flipped through the pages regardless. My eyes stopped at a sketch of a wolf. He was familiar somehow and comforting. I pursed my lips since I wasn't getting any answers and put the book back on the shelf. Sometimes Abel and his riddles really boggled my mind.

Jared

I had to tell her. I wanted her to know and love me for what I was, not what she thought I was or wanted me to be. She had a right to choose, and I wouldn't take that away from her. I paced up and down her driveway before mustering up the courage to ring her doorbell. Kim was ready for our date. The second I saw her face, I forgot what I was worrying about and lost myself in her dark eyes.

"You ready?" I asked her. She nodded and I opened her door before climbing into the car myself.

"So where to?"

"I thought we'd have ourselves a little picnic." It was rare that the weather was so nice, and I figured a picnic was something girls like Kim were into. I wanted to get her alone so that I'd be able to talk freely to her. I pulled up to the spot, grabbed the cooler and a blanket, and led her by the hand to the spot. It was a hiking area, but off from the trail was a nice open grassy area within the trees that many people didn't know about. I spread the blanket and pulled out the food, chez Taco Bell.

"Are you planning to eat _all_ of that?" There were like 30 burritos, tacos, nachos, and Cinnamon Twists in the cooler. I pulled out the cans of soda and handed her a burrito and drink.

"You're going to eat some too," I replied giving her a wink. She sat cross legged, while I lay on my side in front of her.

"Abel talked about you when I babysat for him," she said before taking a bit, causing me to almost choke on the food I was swallowing.

"Wh- what'd he say?"

"He said you were dangerous, and that you were a wolf." _Dude was going to rat me out._

"And what did you think about that?"

"I figured it was some kind of riddle, or I needed to interpret it in a different way." I took in a deep breath. It was now or never.

"What if he meant it exactly how he said it?" I asked her, sitting up.

"Like a metaphorical sense, you mean?"

"Eh, not, not really." She was confused. I decided to back up a bit. "You remember hearing about those legends, about the wolves?"

"Yeah, they're supposed to be wolf spirits that protect us from a certain kind of enemy. Abel gave me a book to read up on it." Damn, that guy really was smart.

"Yeah, well those spirits kinda became more than just spirits and were real wolves." She nodded.

"Uh," I was shaking now, not the kind that would phase me, more out of nervousness and frustration. "Have you ever wondered why I'm so big and look a little old?"

"A little bit," she admitted. I took her hand.

"And my temperature." She bit her lip and nodded.

"Yeah, there's some kind of genetic twist that makes that happen." She just nodded. "There's uh, something else involved in that twist." I pulled my hand back from hers, now unsure of what to do with them and sat up. "You know how in the legends, the men turned into wolves?" She nodded, obviously unsure of where I was going. "Well, it's not so much legends, as much as it is history."

"So you're saying our ancestors morphed into wolves?"

"Yes." Now she was nodding like I was crazy.

"Is this some kind of religious thing?" she asked. I didn't say anything. "To be honest, real humans changing their physical genetic makeup to become an animal, that's one of the strangest things I've heard."

"You would think," I said. I started moaning and shaking my head. How was I going to get the words out to explain what I was to this girl? It physically hurt to know her reaction to what I had to say. "Okay, here it is," I said decidedly. I was just going to put it out there and deal with it. "I am a werewolf." There. I said it. Wait for it. She froze, her face completely unmoving. I swear we sat there for 15 minutes before she flinched. She scratched her head and then rested her elbow in her knee and her chin on her hand, tapping her lips.

"So when you say werewolf..." she finally said.

"I mean I shift to become a wolf. A really big one. With the claws and fur." She squinted.

"So, like on the news, those big animals were running around and eating people…"

"We would be the big animals," I clarified. "And we're not eating the people. We're actually trying to catch the thing that is."

"We?"

"Uh, yeah. There's three

of us."

"So what's killing our people?"

"A vampire." She tapped her chin again.

"Okay." What?

"You believe me?"

"Nope." Awesome. She was completely composed, munching on a nacho. "But doesn't mean it's not true, right? I'll come around, probably. Maybe. Hopefully." She gave me an exaggerated smile and took another nacho. This girl wasn't normal; it wasn't sane for a girl like her to just accept things like this. I expected accusations of being a liar or to be joking. I was prepared for those. I was unprepared for this.

"So you're okay," I restated.

"Yes, I'm okay." She took a swig of soda. "Will I ever get to see you? Be a werewolf?"

"Yes."

"Do we have to wait for a full moon or something?" I laughed.

"No. We pretty much change at will, sort of. Or when we're really mad. I'm still kinda new, so it's harder for me to control it, but I'm getting better." I thought talking about it made it seem more real to her, either that or made me seem crazier. "I had to miss a bunch of school, like 2 weeks. It was because I could barely control it. Almost anything that got to me would set me off, and I'd change. I was seriously close to changing in class once. Had to bolt out of there to calm myself down."

"I remember that," she said calmly. "Because you thought I had a boyfriend." She smiled at me, a school girl's kind of smile.

"Yes, because I thought you had a boyfriend." I thought about telling her about imprinting on her, but I didn't see the reason. She was my world, my love, my life. Regardless of the choices I would have made, they never would have been the right ones if it wasn't her. I didn't just imprint on Kim, I fell in love with her. "Would you like to see?" I was surprised when she shook her head.

"You don't have to show me to make me believe. Show me when you want me to see." I leaned forward so that our faces were inches apart.

"I must've done something good to get someone like you." I brought my lips to lightly touch hers, and then locked our lips to a more passionate kiss. My lips left hers only to meet them again and then made my way down the side of her face and onto her neck. She smelled beautiful. I rested my chin on the crook of her neck, caressing her back; I fit perfectly. She wrapped her arms around my neck. I told her the craziest, biggest secret life could have conjured up, and she took me in. This was nice; I loved her, and she loved me. All of me.

**So what'd you think? Personally, I don't like stories when the girl freaks out about the wolf thing… used up valuable story time when I want to get to the climax. :D Just my opinion. And keep in mind that animal side of Jared.. that's gonna get important later. Oo..!! exciting!!**


	11. The Animal

**I am so so sorry again that I haven't updated in the longest time. These past few weeks have been quite gruesome. Plus, I've been reading some SUPER good fanfiction stories, and I'm realizing that I really should be spending time getting better with the details, so I've revised this chapter, hopefully it's still good and goes with the rest of the story. NEwayz.. enjoy!**

The Animal

Kim

No matter how I think of it, I can't get used to the fact that Jared is my boyfriend. I was dating Jared. That was probably a really weird thing to focus on considering he had recently told me that he was a werewolf, but my mind barely had time to wrap itself around that. I wasn't sure how I was taking that; I wanted to believe him and be supportive, but it was hard considering believing him required a very drastic change in the way I saw things, particularly fantasy creatures. So I'd deal with that later. For now, I wanted to enjoy Jared.

He was in my bedroom, looking at our old yearbooks, teasing me and laughing. It was fun to see our lives before each other. He found one yearbook where I had drawn a heart around his photo. That was embarrassing. I noticed how different he looked from last year to this. He must've aged like 10 years. He didn't look 17, and he wasn't built 17.

"So what about the others?" I asked. "Are they the same as you?"

"Yeah. Sam was the first one. Paul was next, then me. Embry's new. Embry Call." I knew him, though I never talked to him. He was my year.

"And people think you guys are a gang," I stated more than asked. He laughed.

"Yeah, it's not a bad cover, but it does put us in a bad light, considering what we actually do."

"And what is it that you actually do?"

"We protect the tribe, keep the peace, that sort of thing."

"Like the vampire?" He smiled, but I was serious. "I don't like that that has to be _your_ job. Aren't they like… really mean?" I gestured with my hands.

"They're sneaky, that's for sure. That's vampire chick is still around." I could feel the worry on my face. I didn't like that he was in so much danger all the time. But he was smiling. He plucked a pair of scissors from my pencil cup and held the blade to his finger. He wasn't going to do what I thought he was going to do, right? He held it up for me, obviously to see. Just as he moved the blade, I screamed and jumped to stop him. He laughed and held me back. I saw the blood, and I dealt very poorly with blood. I started freaking out and stood up to find Kleenex. He put the scissors on my desk and grabbed my wrist, pulling me back to the bed. When he showed me his finger, it was still bloody, but there was no cut. I stared at him, wondering how he pulled that trick.

"You're going to tell me that wasn't a magic trick, aren't you?" I said. He just laughed at me.

"We heal fast." It was very strange to see something like that. I definitely saw a deep cut with blood oozing out of it. Logic kept telling me it was an illusion or something, but I didn't think that was the case.

"That was weird," I admitted. He laughed and pulled my wrist to him and kissed me, a slow and soothing kind of kiss. A moan escaped my throat and I opened my lips to invite his tongue inside. He tasted so good; his lips were burning my skin, which turned me on more. He leaned back and gravity pushed our bodies close so that I could feel the definitions under his shirt. He place a hand on the back of my thigh, moving it up, stopping at my shorts and slowly letting his finger crawl under them. I was nervous, but in pure bliss and fell more in love with him than I thought I could. His hands got greedier, and they began to massage me, stroking my legs. He was lying down now; I held myself up by my arms. His other hand found its way under my shirt, closing his big hand over my waist. His hand rubbed my lower back and then started to moved upwards. His breathing quickened, and that's when I knew I had to pull away.

He was unwilling to end it; I could see the disappointment and rejection in his eyes. I sat up and turned my face, embarrassed and apologetic.

"I'm sorry," my voice cracked. I turned away from him and sat with my legs over the side of the bed. "I can't." I hugged myself to keep from breaking down in embarrassment. I wasn't _that_ kind of girl. I felt him sit up and wrap his long, warm arms around me, pulling me to his chest, his lips inches from my temple.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone so far." The tears started to well up. I didn't know why I was crying. He backed up to cross his legs and easily lifted me onto his lap, holding my head to his chest. "I've always known you were too good for me. I don't even know how to treat you the way I should. I'm sorry." I had almost forgotten how his relationships usually ended up.

"You were disappointed." I said, tears still falling.

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes you were," I said quietly. He sighed and nodded.

"I'm sorry." He cradled me in his arms. I felt bad for not giving him what he wanted, what he was able to get from Natasha and the other girls. Maybe one day, I thought. Maybe one day. Soon.

Abel liked taking walks in the forest. His parents, caregivers, and I encouraged him to exercise since he always sat around the house. The other caregivers didn't like to walk as much as me, so we usually went hiking or swimming when I babysat for him. I understood why Abel enjoyed the hikes. There was an alert for the "bear" that was lurking in the forests, so we weren't allowed there, but no one said anything about the open trail just before the thicket of trees. Abel walked slowly, stopping to touch flowers and smell things. I think he felt it was very peaceful here. I pulled out a letter board that Abel was to communicate when he didn't have his computer available (it was a bit heavy and expensive to carry around on a hike) and lightly touched his shoulder, since he felt more comfortable typing against some resistance.

"Abel, would you like some water?" I asked. N-O-T-H-A-N-K-Y-O-U

"Do you want to go home to eat soon?" Y-E-S-I-A-M-H-U-N-G-R-Y I was about to put the board away, but Abel motioned to talk more. W-O-L-F.

"What do you mean?" He didn't respond, just paced and look down. Before I could ask him again, I heard someone approaching. I looked up and froze. It wasn't someone. It was something. It was a big something. I didn't know what to do. Even if I could outrun it, Abel would never be able to, and I wasn't leaving him. I grabbed Abel's hand. The only other thing I knew to do other than running for dear life was to stay completely still, which Abel was not good at. He kept stepping on from one ball of the foot to the other. I saw it emerging out of the thicket of the trees.

My eyes never left the still wolf. I could have sworn it was looking at me. And deary me, it was coming here. It was heading straight for me and Abel. I looked around for something to help me. What the hell was going to help me fight a huge wolf? And was the wolf really that far away? Why did it keep getting bigger the closer it got to me? I closed my eyes. I was going to die. _I'm sorry, Jared. I love you._ The wolf was so close, feet from where we stood. One outstretched claw would have finished us. But the animal sat down and began to pant like a dog. It stretched down to lay on the ground, still panting. Instinct kept urging me to flee, but my mind planted me where I was for Abel's sake. Then all fear and instinct subsided. I stepped closer to the animal, leaving Abel on the trail. Despite its size, the wolf seemed friendly. I stretched my hand, barely within reach when the wolf leaned in its head to touch my hand. _Jared, if you only knew what I was doing._

"My boyfriend would freak if he knew I was so close to a wolf, if that's what you are," I said to the wolf and myself. What else could it be? It was like discovering the Loch Ness monster. I don't know why it took me so long to connect Jared's confession to me and this creature here. He had told me that he transformed into a giant wolf, and here stood in front of me just that. Well, what was the worst that could happen if I simply asked?

"Ja.... red?" I said. I thought I saw the wolf nod. "Jared?" I stared in disbelief. "Okay, now I believe you." I reached out a hand to touch his face. "So you're a werewolf," I said petting him a tad more comfortable. I smiled. Jared licked my face, his tongue big and rough.

"Hey!" I said laughing. "That's gross, Jared! It's sticky!" Abel started making noises behind me. "I should get Abel home. He just told me he's hungry." Jared whined softly. "I'll see you in a few hours.. don't cry," I teased. He yelped happily and got to his feet. I took Abel's hand and led him back to his house, which was quite far from where we were. Jared never left my side. We silently walked back together until we go to the road. Jared halted. I turned and gave him a kiss on the muzzle. "Thank you," I said and walked off with Abel.

"You knew it was Jared, didn't you, Abel?"

_Dear Diary,_

_So I met Jared as a werewolf today. It was sort of weird, but then really cool. It's such a weird world he lives in, but I'm glad he's sharing it with me. I felt really safe with him. I wonder since he trusted me enough with this, maybe I should trust him.... too. Like, you know. He seemed so let down when I pulled away from him when we were together in my room. Sometimes when he looks at me, it's so intense, like he wants more. I really think I can trust him. I know he'll never break my heart. I've wanted to give my first to someone special, someone I loved and who better than the guy I've been in love with for 3 years? Maybe next time, I won't stop him. _

_Love,_

_Jared's Girl_

Jared had come over to my house almost every day after school and even on the weekends. I thought usually guys wanted space, but Jared acted like he genuinely hated being away from me. I guessed I would never fully understand him. He only did leave when his family made him, dinnertime (since he would eat for a family of four and he didn't want Jasmine to make more than she had to), or when he had to do wolfy things, which was increasing. Apparently there was a new guy, Jacob Black. Other than that he was at my place, doing homework, helping me clean, or chatting with Jasmine. At first, she was skeptical of him given his reputation, but he won her over, and she grew quite fond of him.

Today, Jasmine had to work the dinner shift to cover a co-worker, so it was just Jared and me doing homework in the living room. I was lying on my side on the sofa brainstorming for my essay on the Great Gatsby while Jared sat on the floor by my head, his back to me, trying his best to read The Joy Luck Club. I stopped writing to just admire Jared's beautiful features. The shirt he was wearing did little to hide the muscles of his thick broad shoulders. His skin was a deep copper color and his perfect hair the blackest of black. He looked up from his book and turned to look at me.

"What?" he said.

"What?" I asked.

"You were looking at me."

"How did you know?"

"I heard you stop writing." I looked at my pen and back at him. It was a thick ball pen and I was writing on a notebook on the couch, not a hard surface. My notes were bullets so my hand barely moved on the page. I scribbled on the paper to try to hear it, but here was no sound.

"I heard it," Jared said as if reading my thoughts.

"You heard that?"

"Part of being a werewolf." I gave him an I-Don't-Understand look. "When we fight, we need to be aware of anything and everything than can be a threat. All of our senses are heightened. So we hear," he got up to dig his nose in my hair, "smell," he looked at my lips, "see," he brushed his hot finger across my chest, "feel," he teasingly licked my lips "and taste everything." My breathing got heavier, my body aching for his touch. I sat up to meet him and threw my arms around him, bringing him to my face. His lips were so soft and warm, massaging my lips open, inviting his curious tongue to meet mine. He pushed my legs against the back of the sofa out of the way to press up closer to me. His hand moved from my waist up my side, it being big enough to grip my body. He was so hot pressed up against me. I found my hand creeping under his shirt to feel his warmth. He eased back off me and took his shirt off.

Jared

I was worried she'd stop me when I took my shirt off, but she seemed pleased with what she saw when I did. Just another perk. I looked at Kim's body. She always wore short shorts when we stayed at her place. She had incredible legs. Her breasts were peeking out of her low tank top, her hair flowing to cover them. I felt an animal awaken in me. I leaned forward and pushed her hair back and rubbed her neck then went down to her chest, teasing her with a finger just above the neckline. My hand kept going down and I rested my palm on her, just at her breast. I heard her heart beating hard and fast and she softly moaned. My other hand reached around the back and stroked her under her shirt. I lifted my hands, lifting the shirt higher; she didn't stop me. I began to pull her shirt up and slowly over her head. I couldn't believe she was letting me go so far. Seeing so much skin on Kim, with only some white silky fabric between us stirred up the animal more. I wanted more. I needed her. Every kiss, every touch of her made me hungrier, like an itch that needed to be scratched. I began kissing the skin that I had never seen before today, that no other man had ever seen, feeling her quiver with every caress I gave her. I leaned her back until I was lying on top of her. I gently cupped her breasts and kissed her chest, moving downwards between my hands, and down her belly. She squirmed and wriggled under me. My tongue made a wet trail back up her body to take her lips in my mouth. My hands slid under the stretchy material of her shorts. Without losing contact with her delicious lips, I began to pull down. I had only meant to get her shorts, but I felt more skin than I should've as I realized I got more than just her shorts. Kim noticed obviously as well and her hands immediately stopped mine with a jerk of her body.

"Aarrrr..." I groaned involuntarily when her face broke off from mine in a gasp. I really tried hard to hide my disappointment, but it felt like a kick in the pants to stop so abruptly. I carefully climbed off of Kim, who lay frozen, and pulled my shirt over my head. She wasn't crying this time, but was breathing hard. I sat up on the couch and leaned forward on my legs for a bit to calm myself down. I turned to Kim, wrapped her in a blanket, and pulled her onto my lap again.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I took it too far. I'm really sorry. I should have stopped." I was so angry at myself. Why did I keep doing this? I kept pushing her, seeing how far she'd go. I had no right to feel disappointed; I knew she wasn't that kind of girl.

"No, I wanted to do it," she said finally showing her face, but still looking away from me. "I just.. got scared."

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do," I said. "We'll take it as slow as you want." I kissed her forehead and lifted her chin with a finger. "I love you."

"I love you, Jared." I softly kissed her and cradled her in my arms. The animal in me subsided, but did not disappear. I could only pray that next time I'd be able to control it.

The four of us were running with the newbie. It tore him apart to be separated from his best friends, Quil and Bella, even shunning them to keep them safe and from him giving away the secret, so we distracted him and ourselves by testing our limits. I was trying to get into it, but my thoughts kept reverting back to the night before with Kim. I couldn't help remembering how soft and clean her skin was and the way she sounded when her breathing quickened. She looked so incredible without her shirt on.

_What the hell?!_ Embry interrupted. _I'm sure she's nice and all, but I do see her around at school, you know._

_You don't have to pay attention_, I thought back.

_You should know, Lover Boy, that I have to pay attention._ I growled in my head.

_Jared__,,_Sam chimed in,_ on a more serious note, I really do think you need to slow things down with Kim,_ Sam thought. _You've imprinted too young, in my opinion, and even though you've grown up physically, maybe even mentally, she has not. She's young. She's not ready._

_Are you going to control my love life now, Sam?_ I spat.

_No, I will not. But for the sake of Kim, don't do anything that will hurt her._

_I'll never hurt her,_ I growled._ I am the one guy who never can._

**And there it is! You thought there was going to be a lemon, didn't you? Puhahah.. no.. none of that… although I do touch on some themes. Is it still too hot? Should I pull back? I still wanna keep my T rating. :D**


	12. How Reliable is Imprinting?

**Lol.. I thought I had posted this chapter a few days ago and I was like, "why isn't anyone commenting?" I'm awesome like that. Sorry for the delay.. but after tomorrow, I should all in the good. Now I got some shopping and cleaning to catch up on. :D**

How Reliable is Imprinting?

Kim

"Why do you like me?" I asked Jared as we walked out of the movie theater. I seemed to have caught him off guard so I explained myself. "It's just, I don't really understand what could make you change your taste so quickly." He pulled me aside against the wall so we wouldn't get in the way of the people walking in and out of the theaters.

"Honestly, I don't know. I don't really know _why_ I like you." Okay, that wasn't the answer I was looking for. "I just do. It's kind of a wolf thing."

"Wolf thing? How is this a wolf thing?" I asked, a little confused.

"We call it 'imprinting'. It's when one of us finds the one we were meant to be with."

"Like love at first sight?" He shook his head.

"No. Not like love at first sight. Love at first sight is when you fall in love with the idea of someone based solely on what they look like. Imprinting has nothing to do with what you look like; it's you, everything about you that I've fallen for. Like science. Just before, I was too into myself to realize it." I smiled, forgetting what it was that I had asked him in the first place. "So to answer your question, I love you because I was always meant to love you and there is nothing in the world that can make me change that."

A few days later, Jared picked me up. I was meeting his 'pack' today, and I was so nervous. My sister made some mini tacos for me to take over. I wore a pair of jeans with boots and a white angora sweater since the weather was getting angry. I put a thin headband in my hair and carried a faux leather bag.

"Kim, it's nice to finally meet you," a stunning woman greeted me as she opened the door. I just smiled, and prayed she didn't notice me staring at the scars on her face. "I'm Emily." She invited Jared and me in and I gave her the tacos which she set in the middle of the small round table. I knew I wasn't containing myself when I stared at them. They were ALL huge. I mean, Paul and Jared were big, but Emily's boyfriend was even bigger, and there was even a guy bigger than him. I recognized him as Jacob; he hung out with Embry a lot at school. They were a year younger than me.

"So you're Jared's girl?" Sam greeted me. I nodded. I had a feeling he was telling himself that he lucked out to snagging the most beautiful woman available on the reservation while Jared got stuck with the chubby girl next door. "I'm Sam."

"Hi, I'm Kim. Jared's told me a lot about you."

"Likewise." He winked and I heard Paul giggle from the table, earning a punch in the arm from Jared. I had a feeling I was missing something.

"So, Jared imprinted on you, did he?" Embry asked me after taking an insanely large bite into a piece of cake. It was weird since this was the first time he was talking to me even though I had had a few classes with him in the past. "What's that like?" I shrugged.

"It's kinda cool," I admitted shyly.

"Imprints have it made," Paul said taking a drink of orange juice straight from the jug. "You get tall dark handsome that will never cheat on you." Emily smacked him on the head.

"That jug is yours," she said. "Kim, you want to help me with the pasta and salad?" I walked over to her and tossed the salad. "Sam tells me your sister is trying to get a job in Seattle," she said quietly, though I was certain that Jared and the others heard her.

"She has an interview next week at a restaurant that she's really excited for," I replied, trying to sound positive. "It'd be really good for her to go."

"Are you going to move up there with her?" I nodded.

"I really want to support her. She's given up a lot for me." She looked up and smiled her beautiful smile at me. She reminded me of Jasmine, almost motherly and wise.

"You're a good sister, Kim."

_Dear Diary, _

_I am so in love with Jared that it hurts, physically hurts. I still can't believe that he likes me. Even the fact that he's apparently a werewolf makes him seem so unattainable. He just looks so good. Though, I have to admit, sometimes he looks so good, I think he's going to wake up and realize it himself. I mean, he used to date like super hot chicks, tall leggy blonds with lots of makeup and skanky clothes. I don't even have that much makeup and I doubt I'd be doing myself any favors by stuffing my fat in hoochy outfits. It just doesn't make sense that he'd even pay attention to me. I'm not sure how his imprinting is supposed to work, but really, how reliable can that be for me? I mean, if he's under some spell to love me in the first place, can't he just... stop? Is that what I really want? *sigh... I just don't know what I'd do if that happened. Maybe.. maybe I should make some kind of gesture to show him that I am, or could be, the kind of girl? _

_Okay, I have thought all night about this. I love Jared, more than anything in the world, and have since forever. I think I really want him to be my first. I mean, my first should be with the one I love, right? And I just know he'd never hurt me. I think I need to show him how much I love him in a different way.. a physical way. My sister is going away to Seattle in a few days. I think that's a good idea. Yes. Yes I do. Yes. _

_Yours truly in love, _

_Jared's_

Jared

"You called, my lady?" I asked from her window. Sure, I could've used the front door, but I thought Kim would get a kick if I surprised her from the window. Plus I've always wanted to do that. I climbed in her window and stayed seated at the windowsill, noticing the candles lit around her room.

"I just missed you, that's all," she said shyly. I cocked my head to the side, a little confused of what was going on.

"I just saw you like a few hours ago, Kim, before my patrols." Jacob's "girlfriend" had informed us awhile back the vampire's name was Victoria, who was after her, so we had been chasing the redhead all over the place, but she was a slick one, I'd give her that. Kim nodded and took my hands. I could hear her heart pick up. She was nervous about something. It was 9:30 and she invited me over when she was home alone. Maybe she was scared? "Hey, are you okay?" I stood up and put my hands on her shoulders, which kicked her heartbeat faster. She nodded.

"I just... really wanted to see you." She leaned in to hug me, so I wrapped my arms around her, putting my hand on the back of her head. She pulled back and pulled me to her luscious lips. Who was I to resist her? I bent down to kiss her soft supple lips. I sometimes wondered how I was able to walk away from her with just a kiss. I wanted nothing more than to keep her pure and comfortable, but a part of me ached for her.

I thought my lust was tricking my mind when I felt her hand creep up my shirt, stroking my back and stomach with her fingers. My kiss got hungrier and I felt my breathing get a little heavier. Then I felt her reach for the button and zipper of my pants. I grabbed her hand in shock. I had to admit sometimes I let my desire for her get the better of me, but I knew if she at all gave me a hint she wanted to stop, I would. But if she was going to make moves, there was nothing that was going to stop me. I sure as hell wasn't going to stop myself.

"Kim, Kim, what are you doing?"

"Jared, I.... I love you," she said.

"I love you too, Kim. You don't need to do anything you don't want to. I swear, I'm not going anywhere. I just want you to be happy." It started making sense. The candles were lit. She called me over on a Friday night. Her sister was in Seattle for the interview. And yes, I did want it, but didn't at the same time.

"Being with you tonight would make me happy. Really, Jared. I want to do this."

"Kim, we can wait. There's really no rush, believe me."

"This isn't about then or now. I'm just so happy with you and I'm really ready to give this part of me to you." I sighed. Probably a smarter part of me was telling me that this was wrong. I couldn't take advantage of this girl's vulnerability. At least the girls I had been with knew what I was after. Even used it as the means to be with me; I could see now how awful my actions were before. But Kim wasn't one of those girls. She was delicate and pure, perfect. I was so in love with her I didn't understand it myself. I wanted to show her how much in the only way I knew how. But this time would be different. It wouldn't be just sex.

I leaned down to kiss her again, softly at first, and then let my tongue probe her sweet mouth. I felt her get at my pants and I just stood with my hands pinned to my side, afraid to get too aggressive. She lifted my shirt and ran her cool fingers up my stomach and up, paying special attention to my chest. I broke our kiss and took off my shirt. She pulled me to her bed and I took a seat and pulled her on top of my lap. I kissed her again; she started nibbling at my lips and crept over to my ear. Damn, I loved having her breath on my ear. My hand snaked up her shirt. I was afraid she'd stop me, but she didn't, so I proceeded to take it off of her. She was wearing a black bra. I _loved_ the color black. She leaned me over and I pulled her so that she lay on top of me and helped her wriggled out of her pants. I couldn't believe what we were about to do.

"Are you sure?" I asked one more time. She just smiled and grabbed something from the desk beside her and handed it to me. I smiled at how prepared she really was.

Kim

Jared was naked in my bed and I was pretty close to joining him. I was so scared I was going to mess this up. I wanted this. He deserved this. I can do this, I told myself. He'll keep me safe; he won't do anything to hurt me.

Jared

I knew I was losing control now. My animal drive was taking over, but I still felt my love for her with every touch and sound. She was mine. Kim was mine to love and please.

Kim

His moans and touches were getting more desperate. A part of me was pleased at how much he really wanted me. Things were happening so fast and so slow at the same time. There was fire in my veins as Jared turned me over so that he was on me. I love him. I want to make him happy. This would make us both so happy.

Jared

I tried to be careful not to crush her or go too hard, but I was lost in the moment. My mind swarmed with images of Kim and how we had gotten to this point. I stopped hearing things, seeing things; there was only Kim.

Kim

I started to feel something I was afraid to feel. The tiny voice at the back of my head that tried to convince me I wasn't ready was getting louder and louder. _Oh no, I can't do this. I love Jared with everything I have, but I'm not ready for this. This isn't who I am. I have to stop. Please, Jared, stop. _I tried to push him, beat his chest to make him stop, but he didn't seem to feel it. I looked up to see his eyes closed, grunting and panting, lost in his rhythm.

Jared

Kim felt so good under me, her body shaped to invite mine. She's my perfect girl. She's everything to me now. How could I have not seen her till now?

Kim

This was a mistake. How could I have been so childish?

Jared

Kim, I love you so much. I wish you could know how much.

Kim

What have I done? What do I do?

***sigh.. poor kim… what a way to lose your virginity. This scene actually inspired me to write this story, so I hope it's as impactful as I meant it to be. Iono if I was able to portray it well, but I wrote this story with the themes of self importance, peer pressure, expectations, and self worth. Much more to come, of course, but I just thought this would be an interesting conflict. What did you think?**


	13. You've Changed

**I had a bad week. :**(**

You've Changed

Kim

Jared stayed the night that night. Despite how I was feeling, I grew tired under his heavy arm and fell asleep as well. I woke up first, still unable to move. I turned my head to look at his sleeping face. I had to admit how beautiful he was, even in sleep. I couldn't say I totally regretted last night, but I realized now that it happened it was just too early. Some moments weren't yours to take; you just have to let things happen when the time is right. I stroked his beautiful hair. _I'm sorry I ruined it, Jared_, I thought. I managed to do some kind of acrobatics to get out from under his arm and climbed out of bed and showered and dressed before Jared woke up. I even had some coffee made and brought it up for him.

"Good morning," he said rubbing his eyes.

"Good morning," I said with a smile. I put the coffee on the desk beside the bed and sat on the bed near him. Just then I heard a wolf cry in the distant. I could only guess what that meant.

"Duty calls," he said. He grabbed the coffee and guzzled it down.

"Doesn't that burn?" I asked. He grabbed his shorts and started to dress. I averted my eyes by distracting myself with the bed.

"Just a little bit." I walked him out to the front door. "For the record, this doesn't count as me leaving you after sex. If it were up to me, we'd be spending the day together in bed." I smiled politely. I kissed me and then bolted for the forests. I watched him go with a heavy sigh, and then closed the door.

_Dear Diary,_

_ It wasn't like how I thought it'd be. I love Jared more than anything in the world, but how come I feel so small? I wanted to do it. I feel really bad. I haven't called him since he left my house. He said the vampire has been close by, so they've been working a lot._

_Anyways, I digress. I don't know how I feel right now; all I know is that it wasn't as wonderful as I thought it'd be._

_Kim_

After that entry, I sat on my bed and flipped through the thick diary I had filled up over the last 3 years. My crush on Jared made me smile. I was such a school girl, naïve, noticing the minutest of details and interpreting every little thing.

I remember when I first saw Jared. It was my first year in high school. We were in the same history class since I had take a fast track class during the summer. Normally he didn't sit beside me, but he was that day. I remembered seeing him and thinking to myself how cute hew as, just like all ther other pretty boys at our school.

"All right, I hope everyone has remembered to bring their textbooks since I've been warning you all week to bring it or else you'll have to wear the Cone of Shame," Mr. Boise threatened with pleasure. I reached into my bag to get my book. Except that it wasn't there. I checked again, but that wasn't going to make it appear magically in my bag.

"Oh, blast!" I muttered out loud. I had never worn the Cone of Shame. I was so scared to be embarrassed in a class full of sophomores. I began looking around to see if anyone else had forgotten. Maybe if enough people forgot, he wouldn't carry out his punishment. But even the laziest of all people brought their books. I had wanted so much for the Earth to swallow me whole.

Just then I felt a nudge. I looked up from my worried state to see Jared pushing his textbook onto my desk without looking up or even acknowledging what he was doing. I remembered how shocked I was, not even realizing what he did until Mr. Boise came to our side of the room to check for textbooks.

"Jared, why am I surprised you are without a book?" Jared shrugged.

"I'm not wearing your damn hat," he challenged.

"Then I'll see you in detention." I should have said something. A normal person would have, but I was a coward, scared of the attention of speaking up, scared he'd make me wear the hat. I gave Jared back his book before the end of class. He took it like nothing happened, like he had the book the whole time and never looked back as he marched off just before the bell rang. He was my hero, and I never forgot him after that.

That was a nice memory, but then another page in my diary reignited another one.

I had forgotten my shoes in the girl's locker room so I headed over there after school. I found them on the bench where I had left them when I heard some giggling. I wished that I hadn't looked up. I wished someone could have covered my eyes and whisked me away, but of course, no one did, and I did look up. In the far corner in plain sight from where I stood was a girl in a short skirt and lacy pink bra, pinned against the wall by the guy I secretly had a crush on for the past year. I was crushed beyond heartbreak. I always knew his reputation, but seeing it was a different reality. I ran out and cried. Why did he have such a hold on me, and he didn't even know my name. I wanted to get over him, but a part of me wished I was that girl he was with. I just wanted him to notice me.

I put my diary down and called Amber to come over.

"Wow," Amber said when I told her what was eating me up for the past few days. "So you really did it?" I didn't answer, even though she was trying to talk like it was more normal than it was. "But you didn't like it?"

"I don't know. It's not really that. I just feel like I did it for the wrong reasons. But I'm crazy in love with him."

"Maybe sex isn't about love." I looked down and nodded. I definitely agreed with her about that. "You haven't talked to him since?"

"He calls, and I call him, but he's been busy so I don't think he's really noticed anything."

"I was wondering why he hadn't been at school." She paused for a second before speaking up. "You should talk to him. Tell him how you feel."

"I don't know if this kind of talk is his thing," I said.

"Give him some credit; I think you changed him, Kim."

"He changed me," I said. She shook her head.

"You changed _for_ him. But not for the better." That hurt, but she was right. I had promised myself not to lose who I was for anyone, and I was dealing with the consequences not following my own advice. Amber put her arm around me and I rested my head on her shoulder. She was a good friend. I was glad to have her.

Jared

Damn, I hated vampires. We had been chasing this red head for how many weeks when I could be spending time with Kim? She got away when the damn leeches got in the way of our chase. I honestly thought the treaty was going to be broken the way the others dealt with it. To me, it was just inconvenient. The quicker we caught the thing, the sooner I was getting back to Kim.

"Hey, Babe. You wanna watch a movie at my place?" I asked on the phone.

"Uh, not today. I have a lot to do before Jasmine comes home," she replied. "She's been doing the late shift a lot lately so she's always tired."

"You need any help?"

"No, it's okay. It's a lot of busy work and I'm sure I'll finish much faster if I go at it alone." I was disappointed and even a little suspicious.

"Are you sure? I could just keep you company," I offered.

"No, I really have a lot to do."

"Okay, then give me a call if you change your mind."

"I will." Then she hung up. I may not be a smart fellow, but if I was, or had much experience with this, I'd think Kim was avoiding me.

"Yeah, she's avoiding you," Paul commented when I phased. If we didn't find this Victoria thing soon, I was going to kill something. And Paul was the closest to me. "Go ahead and try," he challenged, reading my thoughts.

"Shut up," I said. I ignored Jacob's thoughts on the subject since I knew what he was going through with a crush of his. Well, the redhead jumped into the waters again, so I bolted to go see Kim.

"Kim, are you mad at me?" I asked as she finished vacuuming. Something was definitely up. Atmosphere was thicker than phlegm.

"No," she said curtly, rolling up the cord. I took the vacuum from her and carried it to the broom closet.

"Look, I'm sorry that I'm.. working a lot, but you know I'd rather be here with you."

"I'm not mad," she said walking to the living room.

"Why aren't you talking to me?"

"I was vacuuming."

"Why aren't you looking at me?" She quickly stole a glance and dropped her eyes. I walked up to her and put a finger under her chin. Her eyes slowly rolled up to meet mine. She looked so sad. I swept her cheek with my fingertips. She opened her mouth like she had something to say, but closed it. "Please tell me what is wrong, Kim." She looked up sadly at me and sighed. I led her to the couch so she'd be more comfortable.

"I think we made a mistake that night," she said without looking at me. I was surprised. Shocked even. That night was the single most greatest night of my life. How could it have been a mistake?

"You regret it?" I asked. She nodded, and I saw a tear run down her chook. I pulled her to my lap and wiped her tears away, pulling her head to my shoulder. "I'm sorry, I just don't understand. I thought that was what you wanted." She nodded, wiping her own tears with her sleeve.

"I did. I thought I did." More tears came, so I turned her head to cry into my shoulder. Despite how much this moment was about Kim, I couldn't help but notice how much I wanted her to tell me. Usually I ran from crying chicks, but I wanted to find a way to make Kim feel better. "I don't know," she finally said. "I guess I just wanted it for the wrong reasons."

"Why did you want to?" I asked. She shrugged, but I could see an answer coming.

"Because I knew you wanted to. And I felt like you had to sacrifice something to be with me, and that didn't seem fair because I got everything I wanted." I put my cheek on her flushed cheeks, which were warmer than usual, though still cool to my own touch.

"I don't know how to make you believe how much I can't stay away from you." She didn't say anything, and I didn't know what to make of her silence. "I'll make you see, one day."

_Dear Diary,_

_ I never realized how insecure I could be when I don't think I'm worthy. But I think thinking that way has gotten me and Jared in a lot of trouble. So, from now on, I am going to be a woman worthy of Jared in my own way. I'm going to see myself as beautiful and desirable._

_ Jared has been amazing trying to make me feel better about this too. I think he's either scared to touch me or putting an extra step to not scare me off again. We only hold hands or kiss briefly. He always pulls away when things get even a little bit hot. Sometimes it's annoying when my body wants him, but I think in the end, at least for now, it'll be good for us. And I'm learning to trust him and myself. It's hard, but I think things are better than ever._

_Love,_

_Jared's Love_


End file.
